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Blog 23# Beating the 14th of Feb

G'day Guys

So lately I have been feeling romantic...it's February...valentines is coming up in a few days and we need to start sussing out our romantic dates, presents and all that stuff that makes every hard case like myself to throw up. This time however with a sick bag in hand I am gonna help you ladies out with something a bit harder to address...breakups!

*Cupid is just looking at me in shame being like 'why Jessi, why are you trying to ruin my job?'*

Well Cupid, Valentines can be hard for girls who have just been through a recent breakup or going through a breakup right now and they seriously need to feel loved and appreciated through the everlasting provisions of ice cream and chick flicks.

I am here for you ladies, I know what it is like because last year my (now ex) boyfriend and I broke up literally a month before Valentine's day and I remember it being super hard for me considering I was looking so forward to it, and we were in a LDR and it was super hard for me to keep in one piece about it so I totally get it that the 14th can be especially hard and sour for you gals and your broken/fractured hearts.

Okay so now, you've been literally broken by the guy or girl respectively that you are probably sitting in front of the t.v with a ben and jerry's in your hands and crying at the idea that Hazel Grace got her forever within a number of days by Augustus...let's be realistic about this.

Yes break ups are hard weather you are the dumper or the dumpee but you need to understand that the reason you are single is probably for the best at this current moment. If you were cheated on, good thing you are single now because you know that you deserve better than someone who doesn't settle for one person, if it's due to constant arguments, well you learnt that you want someone who is going to listen, try to understand and willing to look for a compromise and for those like me who were in LDRs (long distance relationships), it is often something that was eventually long time coming. An usually most break ups are hard with a lot of tears but sometimes they are usually mutual and that the couple prefer to be friends rather than in the relationship...they are usually also the ones that then become expected to get back together, get married and have a lot of children. But since you are single and you are wondering why that is then maybe we need to do some check points:

Firstly, you have to just let it go, accept the relationship for what it was and how it ended and know that there are millions of people in the world and after so many heartbreaks then you will meet the right person, the sad part is that we often just set too high expectations for what we potentially want in a girlfriend/boyfriend and we allow those expectations to blind us from meeting and interacting with people who are potentially 'the one'. Like for example you may want a guy who is tall, dark, looks like Jacob from Twilight...the odds of you finding guy like that is like is just not in your favour, we focus too much on what the person looks like, and not what they are actually like with their characteristics and personality and their quirks, because that is basically what you are going to be stuck with for life, so...let's bring the standards down, saying that you want to find someone with a sense of humour, fun personality, attractive and is honest can easily find you maybe 20 guys/girls in the ratio of the population so when you set realistic standards for who you want then eventually that is what you will get. And for all singles it will take a while but eventually you'll get there

Second important thing is not even related to boyfriends and girlfriends, it's YOU!

There are three people that are in love with you, your parents and then yourself, if you can't love yourself for who you are then...how are you expected to love someone else. Okay yes you may be insecure, you may not like certain things about yourself, but that will change and if not now when. On a priority scale as a single girl/guy you are number one. You need to love yourself for who you are because if future boyfriends/girlfriends don't then they are just not for you. You need to be kind to yourself and accept "hey maybe I don't like a lot about myself, but I won't change myself for someone else". Things like this are often why people are so hesitant to date because they don't want to be judged for who they are and how they represent themselves as a person.

 Now some things may be hard for others to accept such as maybe your sexuality or your religion or your culture: DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT PUSH THEM TO ACCEPTANCE, often it takes a while for them to accept because they don't know how to go about it. Be patient and things will go well, and if they don't accept you then boot them out the door, because there is a lot of potential admirers out there that will accept you and you do not deserve any less.

There will be times where you sit on the 14th and wonder why it that not one wants you or loves you that way is? Well:

- YOU deserve the best

- YOU need to love yourself

- YOU need to lower some expectations

- YOU need to get out there and meet new people

- YOU need to cut back on the ben and jerry's parties in front of the titanic movie

- YOU need to be ready to experience relationships that you will learn hard lessons from

It's only fair that on the 14th that we need to have our own celebration, we don't need to celebrate love with another person, we need to celebrate love with ourselves, we need to celebrate who we are and who we are as individuals. We need to love our lives and enjoy it as best as we can before we feel that we need that companionship.

So for some of you guys you need to celebrate life without the relationship hassel and just enjoy life now as it is and when you are ready to take that next step forward, or if the situation presents it'self then GO FOR IT!

Okay so if you want to celebrate Self-Valentine's day with me then just hit up on the comments below about your take on the whole idea of Valentine's ay and what qualities that you look for in future partners, love to know. If you haven't already done so then please leave a giant vote to this blog and please check out my other blogs if you haven't already done so and if you want first dibs on notifications for future bogs from me or want to read other works of mine then please click on my icon and press the follow button if you have not already done that.

Bye Guys xx