Do you need someone to tell you how it is?, need some cheap blogger thrills in your life or need to read someone's thoughts and be like 'yes OMG she gets it'. Then you have come to the right place, brace yourselves for The Wattpad Blog!
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NO NO NOT THAT ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM...irony I tell you.
JESSI YOU BARLEY UPDATE ANY-
I know, believe me I know. I am a human, not a robot. I don't pull this stuff out from no where I tell you. It's very very hard.
So basically this is a crazy two months now for me because of exams so I probably won't post now until late November/December but that's hopefully okay right?
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Sorry guys-actually no I am not sorry we all knew that this was the perfect meme from Lemongrab to use and we all knew it was coming#sorrynotsorry
So firstly, I have started IVGF Plasma Infusion for my chronic neuro condition and between that, the wonderstruck medication and physio I have been walking at school and now I have been inrtoduced to walking without orthotic support.
GO ME!!!
Which is now a Segway into my blog for today...
Today I wanted to talk about something that constantly happens in our everyday lives.
Change.
And also
Choices
Now please don't freak out this is not a blog where I will discuss my change to leave Wattpad, that will never happen.
I'm talking about changes that we often find hard to accept but receive great rewards from.
Like very recently, I have been decided that I can now move onto seeing a exercise physiologist instead of a rehab physio. I have seen this physio for ten months and I am one of those people who get emotionally attached very easily. But the idea of the change occurring from shifting to seeing a new specialist instead of whom I am currently with is sad and teary for me.
But what is the raw emotion deep down.
Fear.
Now you can say that you fear nothing, but everyone on this planet is scared of two things:
Death
And the unknown.
Death is a discussion we can have another day, not today angel of death.We can talk about death when we get to my exams haha
Everyone deals with the fear of the unknown, it's just who we are as a person and often enough its naturally because we don't know what will happen next. For me and my condition LEMs I live with the unknown every day, I use to fear it and now I am not. But I fear the change because I will be experiencing a new way of doing things and seeing people. It's just who I am;
I am human.
An right now there is a lot of change going on, like we are entering new seasons, we are moving on to different stages in our schooling. We might have had to make choices that would indicate change, which brings me to my second experience with change.
I currently deactivated my account and I plan to block some people when I go back on there.
With exams and all obviously I am avoiding as much distraction as I can (still procrastinate here and there but not so badly now) but that is not the reason why I am choosing to block some people on there when I return.
I have made the choice to block these people, and in particular my ex for many reasons. The main centre reason is that these people just bring negativity to my life, and I don't want that.
An they may not have to imitate any words that bring that negativity out but just their vibe and history with me can really incite some painful feelings. Because I thought that these people would be there to support me and not make me feel anywhere guilty or ashamed of what I have been through. So then comes the choices that we make that can inflict change and maybe bring a better outcome for us.
I and my ex is one situation I will share, as we had a mutual conversation after two years in regard to what we were and I asked the question that had been carried in the back of my mind for two years. Now when we did break up at the time, he knew my reasons but his reasons often varied and finally I got the truth.
"I was really tired with the stress of you and your problems with your body and tbh it drained me. I was sort of grateful it ended because I wasn't happy anymore"
... took two years for the truth to come out of the bag people, and you know what I had a lot that I wanted to say but chose not to.
I was the one that had the problems, I'll own that. I understand where he was coming from and why he felt that way, I get that. But he wasn't the only one to feel that way. My family and my friends all felt the same way, they didn't sign up for any of it. So, what was the difference?
They didn't give up on me.
That was his choice, he gave up on me.
And as they say, if your partner support you at your worse than they didn't deserve to see you at your best.
And I am at my best now, he now just needs to be cut out of it because I don't need to deal with the negativity. That's my choice.
Choices have a funny way of affecting you, but changes not only do the same thing but they can lead you to something or someone better.
So if any of you guys need to take a message from this, don't be scared of changes and choices. We make choices based on our instincts, they can either teach you a lesson or they can give you a reward. We go through changes because we live in a growing environment, when a door closes a window opens and though its scary, there is great beauty within.
So that's it from me today.
Vote, comment, follow etc.. I wonder if you guys noticed but this is my 49th blog which means that I have made it to 50 very soon. I have a lot of surprises up my sleeve to share with you in my next blog.
