Helpless

Silence

Steve POV:

"Where are they?" I asked a very solemn Two-Bit. I'd called the Curtis' house every few hours, but when no one answered at five o'clock I drove to the hospital straight from work. I wasn't worried; I'd never really liked Ponyboy. Too weak, too clingy, always hovering around me and Soda. But I also knew that if something was wrong Soda might want me around. Besides, I didn't want anything bad to actually happen to the kid.

Two-Bit silently jerked his thumb toward the shut door. "They've been in there with the Doc for close to an hour."

I shrugged and lit a cigarette. "You know hospitals. Slow as hell."

My friend shook his head. "I don't know if that's it, Steve."

I stopped in mid-breath, then slowly exhaled. "Whatta you mean?"

Two-Bit told me about what happened in gym class and waiting with Darry and Soda.

"And then the Doc came by with a huge stack of papers and ordered me out."

"They always do that. 'Member how you couldn't see Johnny and Dal right away?"

Two-Bit nodded and lit a weed of his own. I smoked quickly, trying to settle my nerves. I didn't like the silence of the hospital, my friend, or the room beside us. We'd lost too much. The Curtis' had suffered enough: first their parents, then Pony's disappearance. Although I'd heard that Pony had had it rough, with Windrixville and all, it was Darry and Soda I had seen: waiting in that all too quiet house for them to drive to work. Darry would come out of his room first, drawn and pale, his eyes unusually moist and sensitive. He hadn't eaten or slept much, and he kept glancing out the windows as if hoping to catch sight of his youngest brother coming home from the movies, as he had the day the Socs grabbed him. Soda'd be out next, his eyes bloodshot from a sleeplessness night full of tears. Sandy and Pony at once. I pitied him more; not only because he was my best friend, but also because he had that empty half of the bed to deal with, and I wondered how many times during the night he'd gone to throw his arm around the brother who wasn't there.

The door opened. I heard Soda's voice, low and steady, and watched Darry and the doctor emerge before the oldest Curtis shut it firmly behind him. We hovered their awkwardly as the doctor handed Darry a large stack of papers.

"This is not without hope," the doctor said unconvincingly. I'd never seen Darry so white. He kept nodding in agreement with whatever the doc told him. But I could see his hands were shaking. "Money is, of course, an issue, but it's one you can work around. Advertise the situation at schools and churches, and I'm sure you'll get donations. And most Catholic hospitals will take cases and set up payment plans. Keep in mind too, that all of this is new to the medical field, so there are all sorts of studies going on. He could participate in one. Just keep your options open. I really need to be going." And without another word he swept toward the nurses' station, leaving the three of us standing there.

"Dar?" Two-Bit murmured. Darry turned and stared at us, then took a deep breath and sighed. "Is Pony all right?"

"No," he snapped. "No, he's not, and it looks like he's never gonna be again."

I dropped my cigarette, suddenly regretting every obnoxious or irritating thing I had ever done to my best friend's kid brother. "What do you mean? Darry? What's wrong with him?"

"He has cancer," Darry said simply, turning abruptly and heading down the hall. "I'm going for a walk. To clear my head."

"Can we see him?" Two-Bit called.

"If he wants," he shouted as he disappeared around the corridor.

Two-Bit and I stared at each other.

"Cancer," I repeated.

"Jesus Christ," Two-Bit moaned.

And we stood there in silence.