Helpless

Fight

Two Bit POV:

I knocked on the door to Pony's room. Steve had lit another cigarette and was smoking anxiously as we waited for an answer.

"Yeah?" Soda called.

"It's Steve and me."

Silence. Then: "come in."

Soda was sitting on the bed beside a very, very pale and small-looking Ponyboy. Their eyes were slightly pink, but they seemed calmer then I would have thought. Pony tried to grin at us.

"Hey, y'all."

"Hey kid," I said, surprised at the tenderness in my own voice. Soda looked away and stared at the floor.

"Where's Darry?" he asked suddenly.

"He went for a walk."

Pony swallowed and coughed slightly. Soda jumped at the sound and turned, but Pony just closed his eyes and muttered that he was okay. We waited in awkward silence until his breathing was normal again.

"He ain't mad, is he?" he finally whispered.

"Naw," I said, overly cheerful. "Just a little drained...you know...doc must've talked your ears off."

He nodded weakly. "Too much at once...but you know, there's a lot to...figure out."

Soda closed his eyes. "Pony, do you mind if I go talk to Steve by himself for a sec?"

Pony suddenly looked scared; more so then when we'd first entered. I felt a growing nervousness: what was going on? First Darry walks off, now Soda?

Pony must've been thinking the same thing. "But then..."

"Just for a minute," Soda mumbled, and that was when I saw a tear slip down his face. He had to get out and blow off the feeling bottled within him, and couldn't do it in front of his younger brother.

They're scared, I thought, they are really, really scared and they're trying to be strong for Pony because he's gotta be terrified.

Pony reached out and touched his brother's arm, and without looking at him Soda took his hand and squeezed it, then stood up and rushed out of the room, Steve hurrying behind him.

I turned back to Pony, at a horrid loss for words.

" won't make you run laps anymore."

He grinned. "You're off the hook too."

"I'll just slug some Soc sophomore everyday."

Pony nodded, but he suddenly looked paler. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. "Doc says I can go home soon," I mumbled, "but I don't think I'll be going back to school."

I didn't know what to say. After a moment he opened his eyes.

"That night of the rumble, Darry told me that you thought it was your fault I was sick...'cause of me bein' warm at the bus stop...remember?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, don't worry 'bout it. It was...this."

We looked at each other for a sec; I knew he was putting on a show. I could see it, the same way I could when he'd read in the paper that they might put him and Soda in a boys' home after Johnny had killed the Soc.

I looked at the floor, uncomfortable.

"Just wanted you to know that..." Pony said slowly, "...you know...in case..." he dropped off. It hit me what he was doing.

"Hey!" I nearly shouted, spinning around, startling him. "Shut the hell up! I don't wanna hear you talkin' like that, here? We've lost a lot, and if you think we're gonna stand back and lose you too, you're wrong. You're Goddamned wrong, got that?" I was surprised at the conviction of my own emotions.

Pony tried to smile, but his eyes were filled, because deep down we both knew that there was absolutely nothing we could do. This was not Socs to be chased off, not the state to be argued with. If this wanted to kill him it could; and we'd have no choice but to watch, the same way we did when Dally went down under the streetlight.

But Godamnit, I thought, we'll do what we always do: we'll put up a fight.