Helpless

Hope

(Two-Bit)

"Hey Two-Bit."

I spun around to see Cherry Valence leaning out the window of her car three blocks from the Curtis' house. "Hey, Cherry."

She bit her lip. "How's Ponyboy?"

"We'll know this afternoon," I said slowly. "He's headin' to the Doc's for more x-rays and stuff."

Pony'd lost all his hair; we never saw him without Soda's DX cap jammed tightly over his scalp. He didn't look any better, but none of us said anything, because Pony was so miserable already.

"It's only been a month and a half," Cherry said slowly.

"Closer to two."

"Don't these things usually take longer?"

I sighed and fumbled for my cigarettes. Talking about Pony always made me want to smoke. "The Curtis' are broke." That was putting it mildly.

"I'm goin' to go into Mom and Dad's savings," Darry'd told Soda, who'd later told me. "They were supposed to put him through college, but that ain't happenin' now. Not unless we beat this thing."

We weren't as hopeful as we'd been before. Cherry and some others from Pony's school had stopped by to see him and leave donations, and some local churches had run the story and given checks, but the fact was that none of it was enough. Money-wise it wasn't enough.

But it wasn't just money: Pony was only half a person nowadays. There was no relief to his coughing or vomiting. I guess we'd been expecting a miracle, or at least a partial one. We thought he'd start chemo and it would all be better. None of us had been prepared for this.

Cherry stared out the windshield. "How is he..emotionally?"

I blew out a breath of smoke before answering. "Not great."

She nodded. "Some kids at school said they wanted to see him, but Darry told them he didn't want visitors."

"He doesn't. Except for us. And some days not even us. Not since he lost his hair awhile back."

"Look," she said, thinking, "summer's coming up. If they need help during the day, would you tell them I could..."

"Baby-sit him?" I grinned at her. "Sure, I guess."

"Not really baby-sit. He's my friend, too. He made me realize that not all of you..are what they say you are...you dig?" she said, blushing slightly. I grinned at her.

"I dig fine, baby."

She flashed me a grin. "See ya around."

"I'll keep you updated," I called as she started her car. She nodded and pulled away. I watched her drive off, almost wishing this was the black and white time of Socs versus Greasers, instead of this hopeless mess of gray that was all our conflicting emotions mixed up at once.

We'll know tonight, I thought, kicking at an empty beer bottle as I started down the street. We'll know tonight if there's any hope left.