Life Under the Hijab | ✔

{5} Reality Hurts

Hajar Khalid

Today was just great. Note the sarcasm. Today was probably the most painful day at school. I mean I knew kids were cruel, but I never thought they were that cruel. I was a Muslim girl. I wasn't a killer. I hated how people fake friend me. I hated how they tease me, it just wasn't fair. However, Zaynub was right. The hijab is amazing. It just hurt to get teased all the time.

Today my crush, Hayden, made fun of me. I thought he would actually be nice, but no. He just had to join everyone else. He used to be super nice, but now he's giving me the worst time in school. It hurts. It hurts too much. My father was close to death. I had grades to maintain, and on top of all that I get bullied all the time. Oh Allah, please ease my pain and make this easier.

I was walking to my locker because school was over. As I was packing up, I felt a hand on my hijab. I turned around ready to yell at the person trying to pull my hijab off. When I turned around I saw Hayden. His brown hair was sticking up. His lips were slightly parted, and his blue eyes staring right at my hazel ones. I quickly lower my gaze.

"Please, don't ever try to pull my hijab off," I said sternly.

"What are you trying to hide?" he smirked.

"I am being modest and following the commands of my Lord to please Him," I scowled.

He chuckled, and leaned in closer to me. I stepped back, but he kept coming closer and closer until my back was pressed against the lockers. His hands on both sides of the locker, trapping me.

"Get away from me," I glared.

"I know you like this position," he huskily whispered into my ear.

He was taking this too far. Oh Allah, please forgive me for being this close to a boy.

"I won't repeat it again. Get. Away. From me," I said through clenched teeth.

"Never," his breath fanning my neck.

Looks like I have to do this the hard way. I put my hands on his chest and roughly push him away from me. He let out a low whistle.

"Looks like the terrorist is fiesty today," he grinned.

"I am not a terrorist. You have no right to call me that without proof that I actually did terrorism," I said.

"Oh yeah. Look who's talking," he said with an evil glint in his eyes.

He roughly grabbed both my arms and pulled me into his chest. He pulled me close enough to whisper in my ear.

"You will and always will be a freak. Nobody will ever love someone as weak as you. Muslim or not," he roughly whispered in my ear.

With that said he let go of me and walked away. My eyes started to flood with tears. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He was right. Nobody would ever want a girl as weak as me. I couldn't even tell him to back off. How weak and pathetic can I be?

I grabbed my stuff and ran home. My eyes started to burn. My throat felt dry. There was a heavy pit in my stomach. All of these are signs that I am going to have a break down pretty soon. After a while, waterfalls started to fall from my eyes and down my cheeks. To make matters worse it started to rain. This is just perfect. Note the sarcasm.

As soon as I got home, I was soaked from head to toe. No one was at home. I ran upstairs and took a hot shower. After I was done I fell on my bed and buried my head in my pillow. I started sobbing. The events that took place at school today kept replaying in my mind. It was like a bell. I couldn't stop thinking about it, all the whispers I heard as I walked down the hallway, kids laughing at me in class. Girls using me like a toy. I cried harder. 

Hayden's words hurt the most because they were true. I am weak. I couldn't even stop them from saying mean things to me. I couldn't even protect myself. I am so naive and stupid. I'm ugly and weak. I am so pathetic. This only caused more sobs out of my mouth. 

It hurts so much. It was as if a piece of my heart was taken away from me. It felt like my heart was empty. Like a cold hard stone replaced my heart. It hurts so freaking much. Oh Allah, please ease my pain.

I heard footsteps outside my door. Then someone walked in. I turned to see who it was. It was Noorah. She gasped looking at me. Who could blame her. I probably had puffy red eyes and a stained cheek. She ran over to me and hugged me.

"What happened?" she asked me.

"T-The kids at school m-made fun of me. E-Even my c-crush," I cried.

"I'm sorry, baby. Allah will help you. Don't worry," she said soothingly.

I loved Noorah as a sister. I don't want to tell Zaynub what's going on because she already has a lot on her mind. While I was deep in my thoughts, Noorah's phone rang. I couldn't hear what she was saying because I was too busy thinking of how pathetic I am. Maybe everyone would be happy if I died. Noorah hang up and looked at me with wide teary eyes.

"Zaynub got in a car accident and is close to death," she said shocked.

I gasped. I grabbed my hijab and went outside followed by Noorah. We grabbed a taxi and head to the hospital. Oh Allah, please let her be alright.

* * * *

We were waiting for six hours along with everyone else. Zakir's family was there too. Amu was crying so much it hurt to see. Finally, a nurse came out to give us an update.

"She has three broken ribs. Her leg was cut really deep and won't stop bleeding. Her head is in a serious condition and she is losing too much blood. At this rate she will die. I am truly sorry. We are trying our best. Again I am true-," she was cut off my a running surgeon with a panicked expression on his face.

"Her heartbeat stopped," he said with a solemn expression.