Metal Has No Heartbeat (A Blue Beetle/Jaime Reyes [Young Justice] Fanfiction)

Twelve: Home Is Pain

"Mahiko?"

I look at her, just a glance, before moving back to staring at the waterfall by the edge of the room. Black Canary's 'office' is a nice, serene place.

It serves its purpose, but that doesn't make me anymore likely to talk.

"Robin's account says you were the first one to witness the...creatures." 

'They weren't creatures', I want to say, 'they were people'. Instead, I keep my knees pulled in, tapping my fingers together and ignoring her.

They were people, and they trusted their father and husband. What happened to them was inevitable. Perhaps if I speak I'll say that instead. What that tiny, irritating voice is echoing in my mind.

"You threw up. Do you still feel like you could, when you think about it?"

No, I don't. Throwing up was silly. But instead, silence.

"Did you have any nightmares last night?" Then, "Do you think I should have spoken to you directly after the mission?" Later followed by, "Are you going to answer at all?"

I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk.

Yesterday was... I shudder, just thinking about it, breathing sharply as I shift into a different position. I shudder not because I am disgusted or scarred...I shudder because...I don't feel anything about it.

As if I am completely over it.

Black Canary is leaning on her knees with her elbows. There is sincerity in her eyes, when I pay them a mere glance, before I look back at the water.

"Maybe you should spend some time in Creeper's Point, with your friends? It might clear your head."

Nope. No way. Too many plants at Creeper's Point- too many families. There's too many emotions and feelings and if I'm not even getting those right what's the point in going?

"Look, Mahiko," she sighs, before kneeling on the floor and moving closer to me. I resist the instinct to kick her in the face. I would not survive that battle. "You went through something very traumatic last night, even for a hero. Batgirl and Robin are working through it. I'm about to see Beastboy. I'm here for a reason- to help you," she grabs my hand, gently. Her fingers and palms are soft. "You can't do things like this on your own. Please, if you're going to shut me out, don't shut Jaime or Lenore out. Let them in. It's the first step to getting over something."

With one last pat on my hand, she gets to her feet, folding her arms with a sigh.

"You can go."

I don't hold back in scrambling to get out of there. I push against the armrests and turn sharply out of her proximity. I can feel that she reads me, understands, but not entirely.

For some reason, I don't want to bump into Jaime on the way. I don't want him to be worried about me, or to tell me to march back into Black Canary's room and tell her everything.

Instead, I find myself in the missions room, staring at the ceilings.

"Hey," Nightwing says to me, sounding casual, yet I know he feels anything but.

"What's up there?" I ask, looking at the odd shaft-like hatch in the roof.

"Red Tornado's apartment. Don't go up there, Zatanna's advice," he responds, not looking away from the holographic screen he's tapping away on.

"Got it," I say softly, coming closer. "Zatanna? The magic one, right?"

"Right," he nods. "We were all offered a place on the League. She and Rocket decided to join, but for Miss Martian, Superboy and I, leaving the Team was unthinkable."