This can't be happening.
"No."
"What no?"
"I can't do this."
"Why can't you? You've done it already, love."
"No. Just no. I- I can't. I don't want to."
"Wait, wait." I stood up and pull my shirt back down. Baffled, he pulled his zipper up. "You aren't serious now, right?"
"I am, Mig. I'm very serious. I can't and I won't and I don't want to do it." Panic starts to mess up my mind with really, really disgusting thoughts I hoped once would never infect my mind.
"Okay then... Uhm..." I was fine with tension being all around considering it roots from anger. We've piss each other off countless times. But this? This huge gigantic purple elephant in the room that refuses to go unnoticed? I haven't had a chance to deal with it yet. "I'm going to go do the dishes then. Got lots of clean up."
A pang of guilt hit me like a frying pan in the head. "Do you want me to help?" I offered but he looked reluctant as ever. "I can pile everything up while you start soaping them... If you'd like."
"Actually Ellie, I think I'm good. You go and rest. You've had quite the day." I stood there for a second and retreated to the stairs. You bet your sorry little ass I did. How come when I'm thirsty for pleasure no one comes to my aid? And when I am perfectly capable of living my day to day life without anything going in me, it seems as though everybody's just itching for a release?
I went up to my nook and just sat there. That was the right thing, right? I mean, I live with the guy and we share the same bedroom and there's this girl that out to basically demolish me and I'm in the middle of a situation. I am in the middle of a situation. I can't afford this right now. I'll be fucked if my emotions get in the way with this. Plus, before I think about sex, I should be preparing a whole set of songs by Saturday. IT'S WEDNESDAY. God, I'm screwed. Officially screwed.
So, instead of practicing or catching up with sleep or figuring out my whole dilemma, I called my gang for a meeting.
03:46 Ellie: I need your help.
03:46 Ellie: Please.
03:47 Ellie: My treat. McDonald's.
03:47 Alvin: Game.
03:47 Roce: Which one? The one near yours?
03:48 Roce: I'm with Rica, she's coming too.
03:49 Alvin: Wow, and you didn't invite us?
03:50 Roce: She came here without any say.
03:50 Ellie: See you there.
"How are all of you still up?"
"Well, we have plans." Roce said and Rica just smiled. "I slept the whole day." Rica spread her arms in content.
"I have a meeting. Time zone differences." Alvin shrugged and ate a fry. "How about you? What's the emergency?"
I should tell them, right? Because they're my first line of defence. And I won't be able to shush any of my thought if I don't let it out. "Well, I'm kind of in a mix-up."
"We know. We're updated."
"Not my aunt mix-up. A mix-up."
Alvin though it was about social media, Roce thought it was about medical conditions and Rica thought that I was in a financial rut. All of these assumptions make explaining it harder by the second. I kept wagging my head like a dog's tail that I already felt dizzy.
"Oh will you just say it already? We've said all we could think of, Ellie. Speak." Alvin begged and they all chanted 'speak'. The whole store probably heard us. We've already gobbled up about two burgers each and we have a pending order for two extra-large fries.
