Home ❀ Ironhide

- 12. ironhide -

After Exner fell asleep, I stayed there, thinking for hours. I thought about all different things. The war, Cybertron, Exner, and if I would be able to keep my secret from her. It was getting harder and harder each day to keep going on like this. For the past three weeks, she had been consuming my every thought.

I looked down at her sleeping form and all I saw was peace and tranquility. Her cheeks were stained with the salt water that had fallen from her eyes, I tried to wipe them off, but if I succeed I would have woken her up, so I stopped. This was the first night in a week that she'd fallen asleep without me physically taking her laptop away and telling her to sleep.

I closed my eyes myself, but I didn't go into recharge. I just let my forehead drop softly onto hers and held it there. If I could have stayed here forever, I would. I would forget about the war and the Decepticons in the blink of an optic for her, but the world is imperfect and it wouldn't happen. I slowly stood up, picking Exner up with me while trying not to wake her. She shifted a little, but stilled after that. I walked over to her bed, set her down and covered her with a blanket. She told me before how she never could sleep without a blanket.

I slowly crept out of her room, trying to keep the old wooden floors for making noise as I did so. I walked back down to where out duffle bags were and pulled out my mobile device.

I looked down the hallway before dialing the number I have been wanting to call for hours: Optimus. He would for sure know what was going on, why I couldn't get her out of my head. I wanted to march right back down the hallway, wake her up and tell her about me, but I couldn't.

"What is it you need, old friend?"

"There's something I need to ask you, Optimus," my words came out sounding like a damn scared sparkling.

"And what would that be?" Optimus sounded distracted and distance, which wasn't like him. Normally, he would have confidence in his words, but right now he didn't.

"It's about Exner - uh, Macey," I corrected myself, I probably should be calling her by her first designation

This seemed to get Prime's attention, "is there something wrong? Do I need to call Commander Lennox? Is she-"

"No she's not hurt or anything, it's about what I think of her," there was a pause before Optimus' curious and tentative voice was heard.

"I'm listening, is there something you think badly of her?"

"No, well, honestly Prime, I don't know what I think about her. She's consuming my every thought," with that, I went on to tell Prime about everything. About the fight over the bed, about her not sleeping well, about her wanting to help me, about us having to fake a relationship, about her crying in my arms earlier, everything. He just listened, but when I was done, I did not the the answer I wanted.

"I can't tell you what I think, Ironhide, this is something you need to figure out on your own. I would be overjoyed to help you out right now, but, like Ratchet said, this isn't something we can just tell you.

"But why Prime? What can't you tell me anything? That just doesn't make sense!" My voice was starting to get louder since I was agitated, but Exner popped into mind and I calmed back down.

"There is nothing else for me to say, Ironhide. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, sure," I was sounding like a brat, but I think I had a good enough reason. This is the second time in six days that Prime has clearly kept me in the dark on something important.

•••

When Exner woke up the next day, she looked much happier. Her eyes were glowing brighter than I'd ever seen them before. I was standing at the big windows when she came out into the kitchen.