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- 18. macey -

      The last few weeks have been horrible. It wasn't my idea to stay away from Ron-Ironhide whatever his actual name was, it was Will and Optimus. The first week, that was me because I needed some time alone to process that I fell in love with someone who wasn't who they said they were.

      The last two weeks, it was Will and Optimus. Everyday, they would give me updates on how Ron was doing, and it didn't sound good at all. All I wanted to do was see him and apologize for how I acted, but it was my choice not to get back together with him so soon. Optimus explained to me that they kept this a secret from me for my safety, and I understood that.

        I wanted to have our relationship back after all of this was over, but right now I needed to focus on myself and school. I missed the nights were I would be working on school work and Ron would come over and take my laptop, forcing me to get some sleep, or when he would sit on the bed with me and just watch me complete different assignments.

       I don't think I've ever cried this much in the span of three weeks. Every night when I got back to my room, I would just cry and let it all out. Sometimes, I felt like he was right there with me, feeling the same pain I felt. Other times, there was a hole in my heart that nothing was able to fill.

       In less than a month, I graduate from college. In all honesty, I don't know what I'm going to do after that. My original plan, before I met Ron, was to travel back to New Jersey and get a job teaching there. When I met Ron, I was going to ask Will if he could pull some strings and get me the full time position of the on base teacher. Now, I don't know what to do.

      Yesterday, I told Ron that I forgave him, but couldn't be back together with him so soon. It broke my heart to see him in the shape he was. His paint was all dirty and chipping, his cannons looked dirty and over used, his eyes, or optics as I learned to call then, were covered in this light blue liquid. All my heart wanted me to do was go up, hug him, kiss him, and tell him I love him. All my head wanted me to do was stay away from him until my life was back on track. And I always went with what my head told me.

      "How's he doing today?" I was currently sitting with Will and Optimus in the meeting room Ron and I originally met.

      They shared a look, it wasn't a good one, "in all honesty, he's doing horrible," one punch to the gut, "he keeps beating himself up about lying to you," two punches to the gut, "and Optimus pulled him from missions because it's gotten so bad," and that's the final blow.

      "I need to see him again," my voice was cracking from both sadness and pain.

      Once again, Optimus and Will shared a look, they were up to something, "hold on, let me call Ratchet real quick and then we'll talk."

      "Uh, Optimus, what does Ratchet have to do with any of this? My wrist is fine," I held it up to prove my point.

       "You will soon find out," Optimus had a serious look on his face.

       It took Ratchet less than two minutes to reach the meeting room, when he walked in, Ron walked in also.

      "What is the meaning of this," his voice was low and full of hurt.

     "Ironhide and Macey, you may want to sit down for this," instead of sitting next to each other, we sat down in the chairs closet to us, putting me in between Will and Optimus and Ron next to Ratchet.

       "Um guys, you're starting to scare me. What's going on," Ron's eyes darted over to me; he wanted to comfort me I could tell. One of his hands were on the table and was just tracing circles, like he would do on my knee.