Modest Delusions - Book 3 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 27 - I'm Wide Awake

I'm wide awake

"Sweetie," Liam stirred as his shoulder gently shook. "Why don't you go and get some rest?"

His eyes shot open in a flourish of panic and he blinked back the haze of sleep as he looked at Jennifer. She was sleeping, she looked so peaceful and he held her hand tightly as he shook his head.

“No," he began, turning he looked at the nurse with her pale green eyes and tight smile. "I want to be the first thing she see's when she wakes up!"

The nurse smiled as she hovered behind him, her eyes trailed to Jennifer's round stomach tucked neatly behind the soft blue blanket. "You're friends are all in the hall are you sure you don't want me to-"

He shot her a glare, "No," Liam sighed as he let go of Jennifer's small hand. "For the millionth time I don't want them here."

"I know but the blonde-"

"I said no, okay?" he sohnded tired. He looked worse, Liam had lost all sense of time as he gazed around the dim room. She didn’t have insurance but he paid for the most expensive private room available. Not that it mattered, he couldn’t pay for all the time he had missed. Time he should have spent with her.

The nurse sighed as she adjusted her tortoise shell glasses perched on her nose. "They won't leave," she said.

Liam waved a hand, "then they can sleep there for all I care."

"Are you sure-"

Liam craned his neck and his lips were pursed as he hissed, "I said no."

She held up her hands in defeat, "Okay," she patted his shoulder gently. Why was everyone doing that? He wondered. Each staff member how came and went as their shifts passed by touched him with a sad expression. What did they think touching would do? Make it better? No. It just freaked him out even more.

She silently stepped out of the room and he could hear Niall debating with her but he ignored them. All of them lied to him, Liam wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive such betrayal. With a sigh he ran his hands down his tired face and blinked, he stood up and softly ran a hand over her soft blonde hair. Liam wished desperately as each second passed that she would wake up. He needed to hear her voice, even though he was afraid of what she would say to him.

Liam kissed her forehead softly as his eyes trailed down to her stomach. He swallowed the lump in his throat, tryong to banish the guilt and terror that resided there. He had cried for hours, now there were no tears left. Only time remained and his wavering patience. Liam looked at the window, he could see Louis' short silhouette against the wall. Maybe he should talk to them? The only one who seemed as shocked as him was Louis. Liam turned over the possibility in his head as he began for the door but thoughts of Louis were immediately tainted. Tainted by thoughts of Harry.

Did he do this to her? Liam tried to convince himself Harry would never but it seemed so unlikely to be anyone else. Harry was there covered in blood with the most horrified expression on his face. Addison? No. Liam shook his head as he rested his hand hesitantly on the door handle. She would never... would she?

Liam opened the door and Niall nearly ran into him with relief. "Is she-"

Liam frowned, "I thought I could face you all but-"

Harry cut him off, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked manic. "Liam I didn't-"

He shut the door and tried to catch his breath. He thought he was ready to talk to them. He would always talk to them eventually but seeing their faces. It was still to raw.

Jennifer took in a deep breath and her eyes shot open. Liam froze in place. She narrowed her eyes as she groaned, "Niall?" Her voice was hoarse. She tried to sit up but she was groggy and weak, "Niall?" she shouted now.

Liam wanted to speak he tried to but he was frozen in place, he couldn't find any words.

Her shaky hands shot to her stomach and then she relaxed. The room was so dark, she couldn’t see Liam cowering in the corner. He blinked back tears.

"Niall?" she screamed as she began to yank the naso gastric tube from her nose. Jennifer began to cough and gag as she pulled it out. Liam was still frozen. "Niall?" her voice was shrill.

The door swung open and Niall came rushing in, he hissed at the other boys to stay and they did. "Hey," he said in a soft voice. "I'm here," he walked over and she began to cry into his shoulder.

Liam wanted to scream it was him she should be calling for, him she should be crying to. The image of Jennifer finding comfort in Niall’s arms sent his mind reeling. It should all be him but Liam was slapped with realisation. It wasn't him at all...

Niall looked over, he stroked her hair as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You're fine,  the baby’s fine." She cried again this time with relief. Niall saw Liam standing there and he held her hand as he stood up. "Jen," he whispered softly. "Look who's been here waiting for you to wake up he-"

Liam saw her eyes widen and her hand squeeze Niall’s tightly. "Liam?" She whispered hesitantly.

"He came for you," Niall said with a sad smile.

Jennifer just stared she looked across the room peering into the darkness and all Liam could hear was the pounding of his heart. The longer she stared, the harder it became. A crushinh weight resided in his chest and he tried to take a step buy he couldn’t find the will to move.

"Jen he-"

She looked up at Niall with a tentative glance and Liam felt his heart break, "I can leave," he whispered with a heavy heart as he opened the door. Louis, Zayn and Harry all stared at him with anxious expressions and it took all of his strength not to break down in tears.

“Wait-" Her voice was so soft he could bearely hear her. "Liam," the way she said his name made him break into a thousand pieces all at once. He closed his eyes waiting for her to say the inevitable... that she didn't want him in her life but she surprised him. "Stay," she said. "I want you to stay."

Liam turned around and closed the door as the boys sighed loudly. "Jen I-"

Niall kissed her forehead, "I'll be outside," he said and then leant close to her as he whispered something Liam couldn't hear. She smiled softly and looked up at Liam. He had never been so overwhelmed with such conflicting emotions in his life, fear and joy. As he walked towards her with guilt and reservation she watched him with a sad smile and he was filled with hope, hope that she would forgive him for everything.