Modest Delusions - Book 3 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 18 - Make you listen to me, help you understand

Chapter inspired by –

                                    ‘Two Way Street' - Kimbra

_____

Make you listen to me, help you understand

Louis walked towards the stairs and waited with bated breath for Niall to open the door, for Niall to reach out. Yet, the long moments he spent staring at the closed doors made him begin to lose hope. It made Louis begin to wonder if he should have returned to London, the car ride from the airport was excruciatingly stressful. Ava softly stroked his hands as he cracked his knuckles again and again. She softly wiped the hair from his eyes and silently adjusted green beanie, Harry’s green beanie. She was constantly touching him, to show him, in hew own way that she was there for him. He appreciated the sentiment but how could he be expected to concentrate when seeing the boys, facing Harry was looming upon him. 

He was awake the entire flight with a few choice liquors to accompany him during the lonely hours, to sedate his emotions. He wanted to scream as they walked up the stairs of a new loft. It was very blasé when he asked who’s loft it actually was. The fact everyone squirmed awkwardly when he asked why Niall wasn’t at his apartment, why they didn’t go to Harry and his place, told him this was Harry’s new place. Harry had moved out. 

What could he expect, really? Harry to stay surrounded by constant reminders of what they had. Reminders that Louis left, Louis had broken him and he was afraid of seeing just how broken Harry truly was. 

He felt nauseated. 

Liam and Addison were talking with Porter as Zayn sat in the kitchen with his arms folded and a cold beer sitting unopened in front of him. Louis looked over his shoulder and Ava was loitering behind him, she was glancing from the balcony to the room and then the door. Every time her eyes rested on the door he noted her breath catching, her arms subconsciously wrapping around her small waist. He felt responsible for her summit of insecurities. Saying Harry’s name during sex with his girlfriend probably didn’t help things. Having Harry’s photos on his phone, hundreds of messages reading the same thing over and over still sedentary in his inbox. Wearing some of Harry’s clothes, dreaming of Harry, waking yearning for Harry…

He shook his head, his thoughts were developing at a blinding pace, if he let them catch him off guard. 

No, he couldn’t. 

Not in front of the boys, in front of Ava.

He sighed and looked up at the stairs, craning his neck he forced a smile at Ava who was only a few steps away and whispered, “I’m okay.”

She smiled in reply but he could tell by the look in her eyes, she didn’t believe him. Why should she? He hadn’t said a word in hours, he snapped when she mentioned Harry. Screamed at Liam when he brought up the news reports of the fight in Nobu. Louis made a mental note to apologise to Ava but that would have to wait. 

The door of the ensuite swung open, Niall appeared looking pale and tired. Now in the light Louis could see his face was bruised and dark circles surrounded his blue eyes. Louis wanted to run up to him, he had missed Niall for months but somehow, seeing the discomposure on Niall’s face told him Niall didn’t feel the same way. 

“Niall!” Louis said forcing a smile and opening his arms. 

Niall’s eyes widened, Louis noted they were puffy. Had he been crying? Was it Louis fault? The questions remained unanswered on the fringe of his thoughts as he bounded up the stairs. Niall instantly turned for the bathroom, Louis picked up the pace. Louis said his name again, Ava was watching them. Liam and Addison paused to take note of Louis desperately bounding up the stairs, it was awkward just like they all suspected.