Modest Delusions - Book 3 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 20 - I'll only make you cry

Chapter inspired by - ‘Why am I crying?’ - Molly Sanden (It’s Rachel and Porter in a song)

I’ll only make you cry

It was a short drive to Zayn’s house, Porter was staring at Rachel as she gripped the steering wheel tightly between her small hands. Her lips were pursed and small beads of perspiration began forming on her face. Every few minutes her glance would dart to Porter and then to the glistening rock on her finger. Their engagement ring. 

Porter kept speaking. 

Rachel said nothing. 

Porter was growing furious, “Is this about Jennifer?”

“Porter, not now,” she huffed. 

“Rachel, what the fuck happened back there?”

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head, “Will you just listen to yourself, you’re being paranoid.”

She pulled up at the lights and Porter was staring at her features laced in shadows, suddenly she didn’t look like the woman he fell in love with. She didn’t hold that regal beauty he once saw, all the features of her face that he had meticulously committed to his memory now seemed, unfamiliar. Who was this girl sitting next to him? The Rachel he fell in love with had a stern exterior but she was kind and caring, she had a heart of gold and she treated him like royalty. Now she glared at him, clenched her teeth and breathed with loud huffs of anger. 

“Rachel look at me,” He commanded. 

She didn’t. 

“When I asked you to marry me, I thought that meant we trusted each other…”

“I-“

He waved a hand cutting her off, “Then why do I feel like your lying to me?”

She turned into Zayn’s street and her eyes welled up. 

“Don’t cry just talk to me why wont you talk to me? Rachel I-“ His voice was raised and she jumped. 

"Not now Porter I just cant."

When they pulled into Zayn’s driveway it was half past three in the morning and he was exhausted, yet his wide eyes stayed glued to Rachel. No matter how hard she tried to avoid his gaze, she would have to face him eventually. Porter decided that time had come and gone, now she was just stalling and the longer she left it. It, this, whatever the secret was… the more fear began to swallow him whole. 

“Rachel, I can’t marry someone who doesn’t trust me? We’re a team, I love you but you’re starting to scare me…” He took her hand and she looked down at the ring on her finger, her free hand gently touched it and with trepidation she looked up. 

Her hair was a mess, tangled and shoved into a bun on the top of her head. Her oversized black glasses took over half of her face and Porter’s green jumper was so big on her it slipped off her shoulder revealing her pale, freckled skin. Porter stroked a hand along her bare shoulder and she closed her eyes, he could tell she was trying not to cry. “Rachel?” He asked again. “Babe, you’re scaring me…”

Her deep brown eyes met his, she searched his face, her voice was soft. “I love you, you know that right?”

"Rachel, why are you acting like this. What are you scared of?" Porter scrunched up his face, her small hand began softly stroking the stubble on his cheek.

"You'll never forgive me," she whispered and he was consumed with dread. "Jennifer’s pregnant,” at the end of her statement she held her breath.