Army Tanks - Lashton - Ended

''He's dead''

I heard some shuffling around, before a door was closed.

The bedroom door I assume.

''Luke...? elliot fell asleep so I... Luke? What's wrong baby?'' I heard Ashton's concerned voice ask, as I felt a pair of arms around me.

''He's dead...'' I whispered, tears continuing to fall down my cheeks.

A small sob left me, as I buried my face in Ashton's neck, my tears never seeming to stop.

We sat there for around an hour, before I finally pulled away.

''I... I need to call them...'' I mumbled, referring to James' and my own parents.

I got out my phone with shaking hands, as I dialed James' mom, Janet's number.

I pressed the phone to my ear, praying that they already knew.

I would feel awful if I had to tell them.

''Oh hello Luke. What a pleasant surprise to hear from you.'' She said, confirming my fear of them not knowing.

I had hoped her soothing voice would calm me down but it only made it worse.

A sob left my lips, as even more tears formed in my eyes.

''Luke, dear? What is going on?'' She asked, obviously worried.

''I-iit-its James. He... H-he's Dead.'' I whispered, before multiple sobs left me.

I dropped my phone to the floor, just hiding my face in my hands again.

-

''I don't want to do this...'' I whispered to Elliot, as I buttoned his black shirt.

He responded by gurgling a little.

I smiled at him sadly, before looking in the mirror.

I redid my tie, and carefully wrapped the tears under my eye away.

''I'm okay. I can do this.'' I whispered to myself, though I instantly saw through my own lie.

I sighed deeply, before I grabbed my jacket on the bed, tugging it on, along with my shoes.

I gave Elliot his jacket and shoes on, when there was a knock on the door.

I lifted Elliot up, and walked to the front door.

I opened the door, my eyes meeting Ashton's.

He gave me a sad smile, before he wrapped his arms around me, hugging Elliot and I.

Right now all I wanted was to be buried beside James.

I was supposed to grow old with him.

And now I'm not able to do that anymore.

I took a deep breath, as Ashton lead me down to his car.

-

I carefully rubbed James' cold blue cheek.

''I love you...'' I whispered, tears running down my face.

I leaned down, and kissed his cold forehead, before stepping back, and going down ,sitting next to Ashton, who was holding Elliot, who was currently sleeping.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes.

I then felt a hand on my shoulder, and when I opened my eyes, and turned around, I saw the whole group of men that I saved.

I felt more tears form in my eyes, as I stood up, and hugged Ruso.

''Thank you...'' I whispered, holding him a little tighter.

''You shouldn't thank me... Thank Sir Irwin. He's the one who arranged this...'' Ruso whispered back, squeezing me shortly, before pulling away.

The guys all took turns hugging me, and saying something sweet.

Soon after, I sat down in my seat again, the ceremony begining.

After a bit of time, it was time for me to tell my speech.

I walked up, and cleared my throat, as I took out the paper.

I took a deep breath, as I unfolded the paper.

''James... He... He meant the world to me. And I had hoped to at least have a few more months with him... I... I remember all the fights with had about his pills. And right now I would wish that I could just turn back time, because those fights were so meaningless. 

''I wish that I had tried to see things more from where he stood, so we wouldn't even be having those fights. And I remember that he would sometimes yell at me, and say stuff, but I knew, deep down, even if his words hurted me, he didn't mean them. It was the pills talking. Not James.

''But let's not talk about the bad times... I want to talk about the good times he had. Remember his good times. I remember the first time he told me that he loved me. I wasn't ready to tell him the same at that time. I mean. I was only 17. How should I know what love was...? But instead of getting mad at me, and break up with me, he waited for me to love him back.

''I told him that I loved him on my 18th birthday. I remember how his whole face lit up. How he kept on making me repeat it, because he loved the way it sounded. I have loved him since I was 18. for 6 years. And I will continue to love him for the rest of my life. But I'm happy that we were able to have out 10 years anniversary. That's at least something. I love James, and will do that till the day I die.'' I said, tears running down my face.

My voice was on the verge of breaking the whole way through, but I still got through it.

I smiled sadly towards the coffin, before I walked down, and sat in my seat again.

I carefully took Elliot, who was now awake, and held him close, as Ashton laid an arm around me.

To others it might just have looked friendly.

But to me, it was like at least some of my broken pieces were put back together.

-

I cried just a little too much while writing this, and ended up breaking down.

Nice.

But I have cookies, so I can get fatter, and have my brother in law hate me even more c: