Anything But Worthless [Akakstuki no Yona Fanfic]

1. Hahaue

¤ Ji-Na ¤

It wasn't unjustified, having them hate me. Rather, I suppose it's my own fault. If I hadn't been born or if I had been killed... no one would've missed me. My life has never held any kind of importance to it. I've realized this over time, though it's surprising I didn't realize it sooner. It was so blatantly obvious that when I did realize...

My eyes slowly opened as the sun's light poured into the room. The window was open, again. Someone had entered and now I wonder, what was it that they had wished to take. This room, one of the smaller rooms on palace grounds and by far the least invested, had nothing to take. Unlike Yona-nee, all I really had were an adequate amount of formal dresses and jewelry passed on from people in the family.

Almost everything in my possession was handled, one way or another, by someone else. Most of my dresses were those Hahaue³ used to wear or the ones Yona-nee discarded without care so long ago. I'm sure there is only one thing that I was meant for my use. A perfume bottle granted to me from Hahaue. Rising to my feet, I glanced around the room. Nothing was particularly ruined. I think it was just the jewelry they took.

Hak had seen my reaction to this common practice and told me to get angry once... but I guess to me, there isn't much to get angry at. It was frustrating to watch everything disappear, yes, but I simply wasn't allowed to get angry.

It was my own fault after all.

¤ Third Person ¤

Ji-Na walked to her dresser, dull eyes staring into the cracked mirror. She reached out and trailed her index finger along the crack in her reflection. "Ah... Today is my... tenth birthday... isn't it? Usually, for Yona-nee, they surprise her with a big ceremony. Soo-Won is even invited..."

'I wonder if they'll do the same for me. I wonder what Yona-nee got me.'

She pulled on a blue dress and brushed the tangles out of her hair and glanced at the mirror to see her reflection. The pendant hanging around her neck seemed to glisten and she smiled softly, 'Hahaue, it's been five years since you've left. Look at me, haven't I grown...? No, if you were still here, I'm sure you wouldn't be proud of me... would you?'

"Ji-Na-hime. I was sent to get you. Il-heika⁴ wishes for your presence." she could feel the malice surrounding him and the forced calmness. He, too, must've hated her.

"Alright." the orange haired princess turned to greet the man but he had already disappeared, the door hanging wide open. Sighing once more, she stretched her sore limbs. Sleeping using thin blankets as a mattress wasn't ideal for most people, especially if the floor was made uneven rocks.

Walking out of her room, her perfume bottle—about the length of her palm and the width of both her index and middle fingers—hung around her wrist by a thin, lightweight metal chain. Standing at the doorway of her room, she stared at the dirt path that awaited her. She had grown accustomed to it yet the sight of someone's footprints startled her. Ever since her mother died, everyone refrained from visiting her, even her two years older sister.

Her black flats pressed silently against the soil as she followed after the supposedly soldier. 'His footsteps are heavier than a servant's... but not heavy like that of a noble. No, a noble would never bother to come get me, even if Chichiue⁵ vowed them the throne.'

"Ji-Na-himesan." the words startled her. Spinning, she was met with the familiar chest. She was about to bow her head a greeting when he said, "You should never bow your head to a servant. You are a princess, aren't you?"

The words didn't change anything. She straightened up and smiled, 'Princess, huh? If I had been born a civilian, would I have been loved?' "Hak, good morning."