Anything But Worthless [Akakstuki no Yona Fanfic]

3. That Special Someone

¤ Third Person ¤

Ji-Na tended to stray from society if she was deep in thought. Reflecting back on Soo-Won's question, a shiver raced up her spine. She had felt it at that time... Hate had been emitting from his body, an alarming amount of it. Still seated in front of the koi, she sighed. "Abi, Shu-Ten, Gu-En... What do you think I should do?"

There was no response. 'Obviously, you idiot... Since when did you talk to koi?' She just laughed to herself, a soft, low chuckle. "Well, it was worth a try."

She was unsure of what she could do. Her father was still busy with birthday preparations, her sister wouldn't listen to anything negative about Soo-Won, Hak didn't have time for trivial matters such as this, and Min-Soo was still a servant to her family; she wasn't supposed to talk to him unless she was ordering him to do her bidding.

¤ Ji-Na ¤

I suppose thinking out in the open isn't the best thing to do. It must've looked like I was plotting someone's death to everyone because the next thing I know, Hak's arm was on my head and he was sighing. "Hak? Is something wrong?" The ignorant me asked him.

"There was a rumor that someone was making a plan to kill everyone in Kouka Kingdom and that that someone was sitting and staring at the pond." the words made me sigh in exasperation.

'Of course. What else would it be...?' "I'm sorry for bothering you. There isn't anyone plotting anything." For some reason, as the words left my lips, Soo-Won's question rang through my head. "Ji-Na-hime, what do you feel about killing?" If I brought up the subject now, I'd surely be bothering Hak.

"Ji-Na-himesan, you're awfully quiet today. What's wrong?" he teased, "Are you in love with someone?"

I smiled lightly at him, just like I practiced so long ago. "No." 'Yes. I'm in love with someone... Yona-nee, forgive me for I have sinned. I don't remember when... but I fell in love with him as well...'

He sighed, not catching my phony smile. "Is that so? At this rate, you'll never find yourself a husband."

I quickly turned my gaze away from him. I could never tell him I already knew that fact... I knew it better than anyone that I would never find someone to marry. "Hak, that's not especially kind." I pout, "I'll find myself a lovable man, just you watch. Someone who loves me." Sticking out my tongue, I rose to my feet.

He laughed, "That sounds more like you. Ji-Na-himesan, you're always positive. If only everyone else could see it as well."

Those words, he'll never understand and I'll never tell, they made me extremely happy... I really wanted, at that moment, to yell. To yell at everyone and tell them, "See? I'm more than worthless... I'm more than useless..."

His eyes widened and I blinked in confusion. "Hak?"

He moved his hand over his face, "You're such a troublesome princess..."

"Eh?!" I huffed in annoyance, "No, I'm not!" His hand moved from his face to my hair, ruffling it slightly. My eyes widened as a small smile took over his features. 'He... Hak... He... smiled... A gentle smile...'

Laughing, Hak continued to mess with my hair until I smacked his hand away. "Stop that!" I complained. I wonder how he thought my voice sounded. Surely, it was some high pitched, annoying whine to him. But he just continued to chuckle. It was the same, low chuckle that made all the maids turn and stare. I don't know why but I felt relief as happiness flooded his face. I ran my fingers through my hair, rushing to comb it back to normal before I waved him farewell. "I'll be in the library, Hak. Don't worry, I'm not plotting anyone's death." I vowed before hurrying away.

¤ Third Person ¤

He closed his eyes, the memory flashing through his head. Usually, her smiles seemed dead to him. He didn't know why, but they always held a slight bit of strain that he never tried to find out why. But at that moment, he had seen it. A real smile. It held a gentleness she never gave anyone before and gave off a warmth that her voice was never able to completely create. It was small but it was definitely there. The vision of her smile had enchanted him. He couldn't help but want to hug her when he saw her like that.

A voice interrupted his thoughts. "Hak! Have you seen Ji-Na?" a less than pleased male asked, fear clear on his face.

¤ Ji-Na ¤

I don't know when reading became a normal occurrence for me. Whenever I had a moment to myself, the library was my haven. Because it wasn't filled with documents of war, everyone was allowed to enter at will. However, no one really cared for it, seeing how it wasn't needed. I suppose no one has time for them anymore. These scrolls filled with fine literature and knowledge of the past are dismissed for music and dancing; though dancing and singing are both jubilant activities passed from Hahaue that I enjoy performing.

But even if I love singing, I certainly love the scent of ink on scrolls more. The characters⁹ that tell a story—fictional or historical—is alluring. I suppose that's how I memorized almost all of the scrolls in the library. All but one scroll I knew from the top of my head. The one Chichiue forbade me from ever touching, the one Hahaue wrote, was stored in the council room.

Most of the scrolls in the council room were filled with the dark history of Kouka Kingdom—the constant warring of the past—and what they learned from those battles. Detailed timelines of countless figureheads and the kingdom itself, maps of the growth and decay of the kingdom, a large array of previous war strategies, and most importantly, information about the lands ruled by another.

It became a hobby of mine to disobey Chichiue. Because of my curiosity of what Hahaue wrote, what she wrote encased in a scroll with my name written over the top, I always snuck into the council room... I never found it. Instead, I gained knowledge about the bloodshed Chichiue was trying to prevent. I also found why it was that all the people hated me.

My eyes slowly opened. 'Where am I...? What happened...?' Pushing myself upright, I placed a hand on my head.

"Ji-Na-hime, are you alright?" the familiar voice made me turn. His eyes were normal, but he held an authoritative aura that caught my eye instantly.

"Soo-Won?" my voice caught in my throat, only allowing a small whisper to escape my lips.

He stared at me and for a moment, they seemed to show a hint of pain. "I'm sorry..." my eyes widened but a moment later, I realized he didn't think I heard him. Gathering my composure, I smiled at him, "Is something wrong?"

He smiled back, pulling something out. "Your birthday a month ago, I was unable to give you my present." he walked closer to me. I blinked as he presented me with a hairpin... a golden headpiece with a sapphire wreath and aquamarine butterfly. Also dangling from the chain was... I took it into my hands gently. "Hahaue's... pendant..."

He rubbed the back of his head, "Il-heika allowed me to get it custom-made so—"

I don't really know what came over me but I stood up and just wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you... thank you, Soo-Won..."

I knew it was forbidden. He was the one Yona-nee already fell for and even Hak thought he should marry her... but I couldn't stop it. This man... my dear cousin... was my special someone.

»»-------------¤-------------««

⁹ - Ji-Na is implying about the characters used in Chinese, Korean, and Japanese to write words; those characters are called hànzì (Chinese)/hanja and hangul (Korean)/kanji, hiragana, and katakana (Japanese). I'm only talking about Chinese, Korean, and Japanese because AnY uses those three cultures; Chinese clothing and building designs, Korean names, and it's a Japanese manga/anime.