FierroChase One Shots

I'm Not Good For You

This depicts the feelings and experiences of severe mental disorder through the eyes of Alex. It's not exactly fun, so heads up.

Contains smut
Alex is female throughout this whole thing.

Imagine Alex being totally in love with Magnus, but she has a mental disorder, like bipolar disorder or split personality.

PoV - Magnus

How? I can't comprehend this, how is it that she can be so damn nice, and kind, and make me so happy, then turn around and blow me off, be an asshole, and say that she shouldn't be my friend?

Even more... Why do I feel like I'm in love with her? Her mood changes and seemingly multiple personalities are insane and impossible to keep up with. But there's something about her that won't let me turn away.

The way she has listened and understood more than anyone ever had. The way she is so attractive but thinks she isn't. Her unique personality and style.

Yet, Alex thinks that we being close is a horrible idea. Sometimes, she is so reserved she won't come out of her room or talk to anyone, even me.

I don't understand. But I love her and it hurts.

PoV - Alex

Agh! Screw this, screw it all! I have to just stop talking to him, I'm annoying him anyway, I know I am. I'm too weird, too different, too stupid, too fucked up. He could never love, or if he could, it wouldn't last. He would get tired of my shit, fed up with my moods, with my... With the other people in my head.

Just face it Alex, you will never have love. And now, you're immortal! You don't get to die alone, you get to live alone, forever! Ha!

No! Shut up!

Why? You know it's truuueeee

No... Please stop...

I physically hit my head on the wall to make the voice shut up. Spoiler, it doesn't work.

I remember where I am.

"Oh, fuck" I whisper. I turn to run back to my room, but too late.

"Alex? What's wrong?" Magnus appears as his door opens. "I heard a bang... Wait, did you hit your head on the wall? Your head is red!"

"Magnus, I, uh, I tripped." I stutter. I go again, to rush back to my room but he stops me.

"Alex, what's wrong?" concern fills his eyes.

"Noth-" he cuts me off and pulls me into his room.

"No bullshit, Alex. Tell me what is wrong. You have been acting so weird lately and I'm worried."

Worried? About me?

Oh don't go and feel good about yourself Alex, he's lying to you to make himself look better.

But what if he isn't lying? What if he really cares?

Go ahead and play this game if you want. Just don't cry when he hurts you, like you and I both know he will.

"Alex? Hello?" Magnus waves a hand in front of my face.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. It's nothing Magnus, just some things going around my head bothering me." I try to smile.

Oh, so now I'm a thing huh?

I ignore the other me as best I can.

"Are you sure? Listen, if you need to talk... I'm here for you Alex."