In Love With My Mobster Best Friend (mxmxm)

SIX: FOREVER

Media: Come Back To Me – David Cook

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Coe's POV

When we arrived at our apartment after a long and awkward car ride, Jared was quick to shuffle to my side of the car before I could even move fast enough to push the door open. He picked me up in his arms even though I felt that I could probably make the walk home on my own two feet, well, one. I could hobble home. I didn't dare to voice my thoughts though. I feared Jared's temper might flare if I were argue now. I knew Jared, and I knew how angry he was right now. If given the chance, I'm sure he'll want to put a gun to my head and fire until my skull didn't exist no more. I was not going to give him a chance if I could help it.

As much as I was entertaining the thought of dying every five minutes during the ride back, I don't think I'd want Jared to be the one to kill me. I don't think I'll die peacefully. It would hurt, too much. Not physically, but emotionally. I might have to return as a spirit, having died a regretful death.

Heath held the door open for us to enter the apartment, but he didn't come in with us. Clever man. He wouldn't have to witness my death with his own eyes. If anyone were to ask him, he was not accountable since he saw nothing and heard nothing. Where would Jared scatter my remains? Would he bury me?

I held my breath when Jared let me down on the couch in the living room. Even though he did it as gently as he could, I felt my muscles spasm in pain and I curled into myself. He stared at me for a while, before he reached into his pocket, "I'll call the company doctor. Don't move."

I bit my lips as I watched him pace in front of me as he tapped away on his phone. I contemplated if I should say something to him. To address everything that he had just witness. But I didn't have the guts to do it. I don't even know why he brought me home. He could have just left me there, after everything he had heard, he should already know that I lied to him.

I felt myself working up my emotions to a point where tears were starting to fall from my eyes again. I was so ashamed. I couldn't face him. I pushed myself off the couch slowly and Jared stopped pacing to watch me. I didn't even dare to look at him. I honestly don't think I want to talk to Jared about any that happened tonight. I just wanted to forget, and leave.

I don't want him to utter a word that could tear me apart from the inside out, to make me crash and burn and stop functioning altogether, and I know he would. He could, he had every right to. And I know, because Jared had always made his stand clear: he was not homophobic, but he will never entertain the thought if it involved him. If we talked about my brother, about my lies, it will all come unravelling, and I don't know if he would have me around anymore.

I tried to push my body off the couch so that I could go back to my room. But I didn't even manage to get my butt off the couch before Jared's hand reached out to stop me. I could feel myself panicking. I didn't want to do this. I don't want to have to explain myself. To tell Jared that I lied. That I lied to him about the reason why I was in foster care. To admit that I was gay. Oh god. I don't want to do this.

He had always thought that my parents died in an accident, leaving me with no family to live with, which was how I ended up in the foster system. How was I supposed to tell him the truth now?

But Jared didn't say a thing. He simply tugged my hand and sat me back down on the couch firmly with a stern look in his eyes. His lips pursed into a tight line as he pushed away from me and walked towards the kitchen. I heard the doors of the cabinets in the kitchen opening and slamming shut, and I winced at every sound that reverberated throughout the house.