In Love With My Mobster Best Friend (mxmxm)

TWENTY-SEVEN: SNEAK

         Media: Pinesong – A Fine Frenzy

∞

Coe's POV

Bliss. I had never known it would feel like this.

I had never known the fullness of joy that one could feel, waking up to a lover that had you tucked in his embrace as though you were the most precious thing he owned. As thought he feared losing you so.

I tried my best to breathe as quietly as I could, keeping my body still as I smiled against Heath's bare chest. In the days that I've moved into his bedroom, I've learnt that Heath was a very light sleeper. The slightest of moments and he would rouse from his slumber, no matter how deep into his sleep he already was.

I know because every time I tossed and turned in bed, his arms would react almost instantly to pull me closer towards him, making sure that I didn't move too far from him in this huge bed. He would also be swiftly woken up by the mere vibrations from his phone, and he would entangle himself from me to tend to his business without even a moment to laze in bed.

Heath's body warmth kept me warm as he tucked me into a firm cuddle that I know I would not be able to get out of, unless he allowed me to. I closed my eyes, embarrassed, when I realised how much I liked Heath's possessiveness over me. I feel as though finally I was wanted by someone. Finally, someone was even looking my way. Finally, I might even have a shot at this thing called love. 

Through my own revelation of my feelings towards my current situation, I am determined that I will not short change Heath in the process. Perhaps we have started on this path with no intentions of being more than just bed warmers towards one another, but I feel as though I might be ready to take the next step with him. I don't know how Heath felt towards me, I don't know if he was even interested in having something more than just a physical relationship with me, but I know that I'm not involved with Heath only for my physical needs, not anymore. 

I'd admit that I've grown affectionate towards Heath, and my feelings were only getting stronger each day that I spent with him. It scared me a bit to think that it didn't take an arm or a leg from me to step away from Jared, so easy for me to set my eyes upon someone else. It did make me think, why didn't I do this earlier? 

Perhaps I am just being foolish all these while, treasuring my unrequited feelings for Jared, thinking I should not sully it by being so hopelessly faithful to someone who will never look my way. Perhaps I've finally taken that step that I should have taken a long time ago. Maybe this time I will walk away from Jared with my own two feet and I won't look back. 

Why should I? Heath makes me happy, he keeps me happy. He doesn't test my feelings for him, he doesn't cheapen my feelings for him. In fact, everything that Heath does gives me the impression that he cares for me in a very special way, that I took up a space in his life that was precious. 

Heath and I have been continuously intimate since the first time we were together. I didn't think that I ever had an appetite for sex since I've never really had the experience, but it was like a switch had been flipped from inside of me, and now I can only constantly crave Heath's touch, and most importantly, his kisses.

God, his kisses.

I could live and breathe for the sake of his kisses. I could survive on it and nothing else.