In Love With My Mobster Best Friend (mxmxm)

THIRTY-TWO: COMPLICATED

Media: No Promises – Shayne Ward

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Coe's POV

I stared at the door to Heath's apartment, my fingers hesitating at the keypad lock, wondering if it's okay for me to run back here to Heath only when it's convenient for me? The sound of the elevator leaving Heath's floor made me consider if I should be doing the same.

The guilt ate at me and I felt waves of frustration hit me.

I don't have Jared, and I shouldn't have Heath.

A tear slid down my cheeks finally. I don't even know how I managed to keep it together back in Jared's apartment. How did I not break down and cry like I probably would have, after he did and said those things to me? Why is it always a disappointment with Jared?

I guess, after so many times of pushing and pulling with Jared, I've finally grown stronger. I'm finally sick and tired of Jared and his never ending torture.

I clenched my fists, staring at the keypad lock. What do I do? Do I knock instead? I shouldn't use the code even if I knew it, right? This is not my house to come and go as I pleased. Especially not after last night. I have no right.

I never should have stayed at Jared's last night. I never should have gotten my hopes up. I never should have left Heath alone last night. I should have come back to him like I promised him that I would.

I broke my promise, and possibly Heath's heart in the process.

I left my hands drop to my sides and I sighed, trying to get control of my emotions before I start to bawl my eyes out in the hallway where there was certainly a camera surveillance on me right now.

A loud slam against the door startled me and I gasped loudly, my hands going to my chest to still my racing heart as I stumbled backwards away from the door as I watched it swing open violently.

"Coe!"

I stared wide eyed at Heath, who's hair looked as if he had been running his fingers through his hair repeatedly. His face was stunned to see me, but before I could say something to explain what I was doing at his apartment, Heath smiled at me with relief, his arms shooting out towards me, pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

"You're home." He declared breathlessly.

My eyes fluttered shut and I breathed in the familiar scent of Heath's body as his warmth spread through every part of me that was in contact with his body. God. How could I be so blind? How could I ever think that Jared's apartment could possibly be my home, ever? This was home. Heath was home. I am home when I'm with Heath.

Why did I let myself be swept up by Jared, just because I've had feelings for that idiotic man for nine whole years? Why do I keep looking back to someone who would never have me, when I should be looking forward to the person who cherishes me?

I sobbed loudly into his chest, "I'm sorry." I clung onto Heath for dear life, "I'm so sorry." I wept.

"Shh, no. I understand. Don't worry about it." Heath kissed my head and m cheeks repeatedly, holding my face tenderly in his hands as he spoke, "Come inside. You are not even wearing shoes, Coe. What were you thinking?"

He dragged me into his apartment, and I realised finally that he was right. I was so distraught and distracted by my anger towards Jared that I stomped out of his apartment got into the lift without stopping to wear my shoes.

Heath looked at me from head to toe for a moment, before he smiled weakly, "Let's get you into a bath, we can talk there, alright?"

I wiped at the tears on my cheeks furiously with a pout, "Are you saying that I smell bad?" I choked out, trying to make light of the situation.