Heathers one shots.

The lifeboat has sunk

A/N Also I guess you could say this is a JD x Veronica  but I'm just gonna focus on the event happening Also slight trigger warning for suicide and mental illness and things like that.

(Veronica) 

My mother drove me to the church  and tried to talk to me but I was to shock to speak. "Veronica dear, I know it's hard but just know it's not your fault. " she tried to reassure me. I bit my lip hard and nodded as tears filled my eyes. I was to late. I couldn't  save her. " I'll probably get a ride home. See ya." I said quietly. I got out of the car and walked up to the entrance of the curch and I saw a sight that I never had thought I ever see again. I saw Mr and Miss McNamara in the same place and they were talking to each other without any sign of anger. I stood awkwardly by myself and looked around. It was a pretty good turn out. "Veronica dear, I'm glad you're here." Miss McNamara somewhat smiled at me as she gave me a hug. She hadn't seen me since I was in third grade so I was amazed she recognized me. "Of course I would be here. How you doing?" I softly smiled at her. I watched the tears flood to her eyes which made tears rush to mine. She liked her arm with mine and we walked inside the church.  I wasn't ready for this.

I sat two rows back and the service hadn't even started and I was already in tears. "Veronica." A familiar voice whispered to me.  I know I was mad at him but right now I needed him. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly. I was still in shock, this couldn't be happening. Not after Heather, Ram and Kurt. Well they didn't exactly kill themselves but still. They were gone. And it was all my fault. The funeral went pretty quick and now it was time for final goodbyes.  "JD will you come up with me? " I whispered. He nodded his head and then we went up to the open casket. I  looked at Heather and tears filled my eyes. She looked so peaceful, why did she have to do this though? Why now?  Why this way?

I'll never forget When I found her in the bathroom. She was laying there with a tear stained face and a bottle of pills in her hand. If I hadn't suggested that Heather Duke and I listned to Hot Probs that night, Heather would never had made fun of Heather in class and lead her to do what she did 'Dear God. Why did you have to take Heather? Why now? Please send her to heaven and make sure she's happy up there. Just please take care of my best friend. Thank you. Amen.' I prayed. I took one last look at Heather. She was wearing her favorite yellow dress with her favorite ribbon. I always imagined my last goodbye was when we graduated college, we both wanted to go to Brown, or even at some cafe when we were old and had kids of our own. Not when she was in a coffin at seventeen. "Goodbye Heather. " I mumbled. JD wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we walked out.

Life at Westerburg wouldn't be the same now. The only reason why I was still in the Heathers was because of Heather McNamara. Now I had no where to sit. Jesus a girl killed herself and I'm here worrying about where I'm going to sit. I'm such a bitch. I should be dead not Heather. "What's going on. " JD asked me as he took my hand. There was to much in my brain to answer a simple question like that. "It's my fault." I said. But I said it without any emotion as if it was a fact. I was convinced that it was. "Hey no Ronnie. You can't say that. You didn't know about any of this." JD  tired to reassure me. That was a lie. I knew Heather was depressed. I heard her on Hot Probs. I should have talked to her the next day instead of worrying about what JD was up to. I should have stopped Heather Duke from writing that up on the board. I should have done a lot of things to stop this.  But I didn't.  "It's my fault." I said again.  I kept repeating that over and over again in my head until it had sunk in. "Jesus Veronica. Can you stop? " JD snapped at me as he dragged me over to a park bench. How can I stop something that's true.  Heather is dead because of me and my stupid actions. "Veronica, talk to me. I want to help you." He pleaded.

"You can't. Heather is dead because of me JD. Let's just admit that." I started to cry. God this whole situation was fucked up. I kill three of the most popular people at school and I'm alive and healthy but Heather. Sweet little Heather. She tried to get help and all she got was pain. "Veronica look at me. You didn't kill Heather. She did this to herself. Whether or not it was the right thing to do it was her choice. You had nothing to do with her choice okay?" JD lectured me as he started getting emotional himself. I've never seen JD be emotional over anything before so this was a new experience for all of us. I tried to speak but nothing expect for tears came out. I buried my head into his shoulders and started to sob.

This wasn't fair. I know saying it a thousand times wasn't going to bring her back but still. It wasn't fair. "I'm sorry for the water works." I apologized as I lifted my head off of his shoulders and wiped my sleeve against my nose. Gross I know but still it got the job done. "Don't be. I'm sorry for everything. I'll try to be less of a psychotic asshole and more of a supportive friend." He said to me. Wait did JD just friendzone himself? "You can be my boyfriend again if you want." I mumbled. I wasn't sure if JD was going to be true to his word but I sure as hell hoped he was cause I needed him right now.  I couldn't lose anyone else. "I'm here for you Veronica. I really am. But please just try to remember that Heather is in a better place right now. And she's always watching over you." JD said softly. I put my head on his shoulder,  which was now wet and icky from my tears, and sighed. I guess he was right. Heather was now happy.  I stayed on that park bench with JD till way after sundown. We didn't talk so much but we reminisced. Heather was gone but she would always be with me and I guess that's gonna have to be my reasoning to keep me sane.

A/N well some of that was good but some of it was bad.  Oh well. I'm low key excited for the next one. Comment ships and have a good day /night.