Start Again

Chapter Forty-Six

Joon Soo

"Why are we here?" I asked Baek Hu.

"You said you want to remember her. I do believe this is where you had your first real date," he explained.

"Here?" I looked around.

"The cherry blossoms had just bloomed so you took her to see them."

"What a smooth first date."

"Well... in a way, it wasn't really a date."

"What do you mean?"

"You still hadn't confessed your feelings to her. You were so awkward about it all."

"Oh... How do you know all of this, by the way?"

"You told me all about it."

"Did I?"

"You never stopped talking about her."

"What was her name?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you won't believe me if I do. So you have to remember on your own."

I heaved a sigh.

Baek Hu led me over to a tree and we sat down.

"Thank you for helping me," I said after a while of silence.

"I have to. I refuse to let you forget someone you loved so dearly."

"Did I really love her?"

He nodded.

I ran a hand through my hair. "I just can't imagine it. I spent so many years alone, yet I fell for this woman in a few months? She must be something."

"To you, she was. So make sure you remember her. I've never seen you so happy since..."

"Since?"

"Since Min Ho died."

We both fell silent. Whilst the me at present may have had time to move on and feel more at peace when Min Ho was mentioned, my memory made his death feel fresh. I stared across the lake and watched the children play. The boy kicked the ball far away from his sister. She began to cry. But thankfully a woman bent down and picked the ball up. She knelt in front of the little girl when she got closer and handed the ball back to her. Closer up, she seemed a little familiar. I squinted my eyes and realised it was the Westerner... What was her name again?

"Audrey!" Baek Hu called out, waving at her.

"Do you have to invite her over?" I asked in a whisper, even though she could not hear us at all considering how far away she was.

"Of course. Why? Do you not like her."

"I don't know... I mean, I have no grounds to dislike her, but there's something about her that bothers me."

Baek Hu sighed. "Hurry up and regain your memory."

"Why?"

"Not saying."

Audrey had reached us and sat down next to Baek Hu. The two spoke for a while and not once did she look my way or give an opening for me to join the conversation. After ten minutes or so, she got back up and walked away.

"Sorry about that," Baek Hu said. Without a word about what happened, Baek Hu kept talking as normal.

*

That afternoon, we went for a walk through the streets, looking at shops.

"Why can't you take your girlfriend with you if you want to go window shopping?" I whined.

"Because I want to buy her a surprise present."

"What for?"

"Um... not sure."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, whilst you do that, I'm going to wait outside." I stood in front of the shop Baek Hu was in and crossed my arms, watching people pass by on the street. Red hair in the shop across from us caught my attention. Audrey had stepped out of the dressing room wearing a red dress. She spun around, checking it from either side. My eyes narrowed. Why did that dress seem familiar?

"Ready to go?" a voice asked from beside me, causing me to jump.

"Baek Hu," I stated.

"Joon Soo."

"Yeah... let's go." I gave one last glance over at the store, but she was no longer there.

*

I could tell I was dreaming again, as everything was a blur, like I was under water. What was the memory this time? I had no control over my body. I just saw my actions as I did them. I hung up a phone and walked back inside. A girl emerged wearing a bright red dress.

"Yeppeuda," I said.

The girl didn't respond, but instead a voice to the left did.

"You're right, she is pretty in this, isn't she?"

I felt embarrassed for some reason.

"You should get it," I said in a whisper.

"You think so?"

I nodded.

She fumbled with something behind her then said, "I'm just going to get changed."

"It is expensive, but it would definitely be a worthwhile buy. It looks really good on you," the other person said.

"You're right but... I don't think I can afford it right now." She disappeared.

"Could you bag that dress in that size for her? I will buy it," I said to the other woman.

"Right away, sir. Smart choice. I'm sorry about before. She isn't your girlfriend, but wife?"

I shook my head. "We're just friends... for now."

As she folded the dress up to put in a bag, the details came into focus. It looked so familiar...

I sat up, wide awake. The dress. Was it the same one I saw Audrey wearing today? But was Audrey really there? I shook my head and climbed out of bed, slipping on a jumper and heading out the door into the darkness. The sun was just starting to rise, slightly illuminating my way. I began to run.

":t~s2