Start Again

Chapter Forty-Seven

Audrey

Baek Hu and I had planned in great detail the events of today. He was taking Joon Soo on the exact same tour we went on, then they were going to finish up for dinner at the N Seoul Tower, and when he comes to the top, I'd be up there waiting for him.

"Audrey? Tell me, does a red dress ring a bell?" Baek Hu asked me in a hushed voice over the phone at midday. Theoretically, they should have been on the tour around now.

"Well, Joon Soo bought me one on our first kind-of date."

"Were you there in that shopping strip the day I took him there?"

"No... why?"

"He thinks he saw you there in the shop across from us, trying on a red dress."

"I was never there... Do you think he remembers?"

"Well, he had a dream that night, apparently, where you tried on the dress. Perhaps he is remembering."

"So it's working?"

"Maybe."

"How about today? Has anything seemed familiar?"

"No, unfortunately. He hasn't remembered a thing. But that may because he saw this all before he met you."

"Yeah, that's true."

"Got to go. He's back." With that, Baek Hu hung up.

*

"What if this doesn't work?" Hye Ri asked me as she laid on her bed, watching me get ready.

"He will."

"But what if it doesn't?"

I pulled the mascara away from my eye and turned to look at her. "He's already remembered the red dress and me trying it on. Surely tonight will be the last straw."

"But you didn't wear that dress that night."

"I know... but he remembers this dress. If he sees me in it, he will remember me."

"But..."

"But what?"

"But what if he doesn't?"

A sigh came out of my mouth. "Then I have nothing left. Baek Hu and I have gone everywhere else. The N Seoul Tower is the last memory we have together. If he doesn't remember this then..."

"Then?"

"Then I give up."

"But I don't want you to leave."

"I can't stay. Like, I could get a working visa and all, but what if I run into him with another woman? I couldn't handle this."

"You could handle seeing Adam back in Hoju."

"That's different."

"Different how?"

"I got over Adam."

"I'm sure, with time, you will get over Joon Soo."

"Not when we broke up for a reason like this. Adam was a jerk, so it's easy to move on from that and want better. But when Joon Soo's the best I've ever had and probably will ever have... how could I? I'd have to go back and just..."

"Just what?"

"Just... Start again, I guess."

She let out a sigh. "Why does it have to be like that?"

"Because... fairy tales aren't real," I said rather grimly.

"It's 7 o'clock by the way."

"Shit! Stop talking to me." I quickly finished up my makeup and headed out the door.

*

In January, the winds at the top of the N Seoul Tower were freezing. As much as I wanted to zip up my winter coat, however, I needed Joon Soo to see my dress.

"Audrey?" a voice said from behind me.

Slowly, I turned around and met his eyes. For some reason, his calling of my name sounded warm. It sounded familiar. It sounded as if he remembered me.

"What are you doing up here?"

But I was hopeful too soon. "Waiting for you," I responded.

"Why?"

I looked at my shoes.

"Omo... look at you!"

My eyes snapped up, hopefully again.

He rushed over to me and zipped my jacket up. "Do you know how cold it is? It will probably start snowing soon and you're wearing that? Are you crazy?"

"I wanted you to see it."

"Why?"

A sigh escaped my mouth. "If you have to ask then I won't explain." I began walking away towards the elevator.

But I was stopped in my tracks by a hand gripping my wrist. "Why did you wear that?"

"Because... there's something I want you to remember. I hoped it will help."

"It was you Baek Hu was talking to on the phone earlier, wasn't it?"

I nodded.

"He told you about the red dress I mentioned?"

I nodded again.

"So... why are you wearing it?"

"Because I hoped it will help."

He released his grip from my wrist and looked at the horizon. "Thank you for trying to help, Audrey. I know you and Baek Hu have been taking me around where we used to date. I remember parts. Snippets. But they're blurry. I can see her, but nothing distinct. It's like nothing wants me to remember her. Why is that?"

"But you are remembering."

"I don't know if I ever fully will remember her."

"But you said you saw me the other day, in the shop."

"I did. What about it?"

"I wasn't there."

"Sure," he dismissed.

"I wasn't. I was seeing a movie with Hye Ri. I can even show you my bank account if you want."

"What are you saying?"

I took his hands, causing him to face me.

I stared into his eyes. Slowly, I let go of one of his hands and hesitantly extended my hand to his face. I gently cupped his cheek in my palm. I stood on my tippy toes and brought my face up, pressing my lips lightly against his.

It felt good to have his hand in mine. It felt right to have my lips against his. It felt so right to be with him.

I pulled away and met his gaze.