Blue-Eyed Secrets

Chapter 18

Tes

My insides feel like they are about to explode. The anxiety of today is strangling me. How does someone get through their parents completely forgetting them and moving away? No one knows because it isn't something that usually happens. My biological parents are dead and soon it will be as if the ones who raised me are dead too. I can't even get ready because once that's done, we'll have to go. All I've done is stare at myself in the mirror for the past five minutes.

A stranger stares back with tired eyes; sleep wasn't kind to me last night. I feel and look like I've aged 10 years. I cover up the dark circles under my eyes with concealer; I don't want to look like the living dead when I see my mom and dad for the last time. Bryant said when all of this is over, we can bring them back, but what if I die? What if Chance finds and kills them? They won't have any protection when they leave...

"Your parents will be fine, Tes...and in time, so will you." Ron's voice sounds from behind me. "I'm sorry for intruding, I just-"

"Felt my feelings, I know. I wish I could shut that off. It's kind of an invasion of privacy," I snap inadvertently. I regret it instantly, Ron can't control what he feels from me.

Ron's face in the mirror looks worse than mine. "I try to push it away, I don't like invading your feelings. Sometimes when you worry like this or you're scared, the need to help you, just takes over."

"It would have been Bryant here assuring you, but he's out talking to our Allies with Sadie. Distance tends to make the bond less intense."

Out talking to our Allies, that's news to me. That's why Bryant was gone when I woke up, I thought he was just out training or something. Why didn't he tell me? He was supposed to be with me today...

"Bryant asked me to come with you in place of him. He really wanted to be with you, but the getting the Allies together and here, is urgent. At least one of our leaders needed to go."

"Okay, when will he be back?"

"Not for a few days." My heart drops. A few days? "They have protection and they will be safe."

"Why wasn't I told about this trip last night?" I don't like being kept in the dark and I don't see any reason for me to be.

"Sadie knew you were going to have a hard time getting rest, she wanted you to get as much sleep as possible. Knowing Bryant would be in a whole other world would have kept you up all night and you know it."

"It doesn't matter," I say as I rip a brush through my knotted hair. "I want to be kept informed, no matter what."

"Tes, we all just want what is best for you," Ron says quietly.

I turn around, my hair knot-free. "I understand that Ron and I really do appreciate the family I have found here. Just imagine how you would feel in my place."

Ron thinks about it for a quick second. "You're right, you should have been told."

I muster up a weak smile for his understanding, but it just falls right off my face. I was never very good at acting.

"I don't want to do this, Ron. It is so fucked up. Is it even ethical to force your parents to forget about you?" I ask Ron, while putting on a light jacket.

"It is if it is saving their lives," Ron answers.

"That's true, but it doesn't make it hurt less."

"I am not sure anything can make it hurt less, but life is full of pain. At least the pain will be endured so that they can live."

"What if Chance finds them? Then this will all be for nothing." They'll die not remembering that they did get to have the child they always wanted. They won't know how much their daughter loves them.