My Life Before I Died

Journal Entry 19

.........I, I don't even know anymore. I, just don't know. So today at school Shinto, Myuesaki, and all the other girls in the class went on some field trip to some parade for girls. Shinto looked like she really didn't want to go, but she did cause she didn't want to be in school. I wouldn't either. It's school, who wants to be here! So I'm stuck with Kyle all day. We walked together to school in silence. It was so awkward. I'm not use to silence since Myuesaki is always talking and Shinto always have her headphones on high blast so you can the music she's playing. So just walking in silence was weird. Kyle was acting weird to. He would try to say something to me but would stop mid sentence. Then he would walk real close to me, like he was trying to grab my hand. I would but my hands in my pocket so he won't touch me. Even though I like him, I still hate him.
      We got to school, and the girls already left for their trip. I hope they have fun. We walked to class and sat at our desk. The class was quiet and I was bored. The girls in the class kept the boys alive. We are all dead right now. Half the class was sleep. Class soon started. We really didn't do anything since most of the class was gone. It was 10 minutes left in class and the teacher let have free time. Van and his friends got into there small gripped and talked. So did other boys. Kyle and I sat at our desk and been awkward. I put my head down on the desk and thought about how Shinto and Myuesaki was doing. I bet they're having fun. Myuesaki will be taking pictures none stop and Shinto will be making "Welcome To The Black Parade" references. They said they'll bring Kyle and I something back. I wonder what?
    Time pasted and I got bored. I turned my head to Kyle, who was staring at me. Was he staring at me the whole time? I quickly turned my head back. It still feels like he's staring at me. His eyes are burning into my skull and he can see all my secrets. Why did I like it?! I liked that he was staring at me! But need to know why?

"Kyle, why are you staring at me?" I asked.

"Cause I can." he said.

"That doesn't answer my question. Do, you like what you see?" I asked.

"Maybe, maybe not." he laughed.

"What is that suppose to mean?!" I said sitting up.

"It's means, I might like what I am looking or I might not like what I am looking at." he said smiling.

        I started to blush. Did he like what I looked like, or not? I had to now! Class ended and gym started. We went to change into our gym clothes and then to the gym room. At gym the coach made us flag foot ball. I guess that was better than dodge ball. We picked our teams and went out side. We attached the flags to our waist and started. I was on Van team, sadly, so he told everyone to give me the ball at all times. He says since I run fast, I will be able to get to the other side without getting tackled. Kyle and some other boy sat out this game. Coach said they are subs for whatever team they want to be on. Then the game started.
      Playing, I would catch small glimpses of Kyle watching me as I ran past him. It was so weird but at the same time I liked it. Uhhgh, that was bad! My team was winning by 3 points and we really didn't want to lose. Van pasted me the ball and told me to run as fast a I could. He said imagine that he was chasing me. I thought of Fon chasing me. I'm pretty sure he Fon was, all you would see is dust. I ran past Kyle.

"Nice butt Ben!" he said as he ran past.

       My face went pink. I trip over my own feet and fell to the ground. I lost the ball and the other team grabbed it and ran away.

"Ben! What the frig?!" Van yelled.

        I sat up and covered my pink face. Why would Kyle say that? Why was he looking at my butt!? Why did I like it?! Gym ended and I quickly ran inside and changed. I washed all the dirt off my face and ran out the changing room. The day continued and it was 2 hours before it was time to go home. I was trying to stay clear from Kyle but no matter where I went, he would find a way to me. He would always find me. I hid in the teachers supply closet, he found me. I hid under the stairs, he found me. I hid under the art teachers desk, he found me. What was his problem? Did I make him made so he's messing with me? If so, what? I walked down the hall to my locker. I kept watch out for Kyle, or even worse Van and his friends. Ever since gym, he been made at me. It was just a game. So what we lost, cause of me, blushing cause Kyle said he liked my butt. I am a sad human being. I finally got to my locker.