Sound Bender (Avatar: The Last Airbender) #Wattys2017

||Chapter 10 - Doubt||

Himoko's POV

"Let's see... What can I teach you?" Aang asked himself, rubbing his bald head in thought. I glanced over at Katara who currently held the reigns to control Appa through the air. It's been a day since we left Omashu and we were currently relaxing, well, Sokka wasn't. He sat at the end of the saddle with a map in hand, marking down landmarks from the looks of it. Katara had suggested since it was a nice calm day to finally begin my Air Bending Training, and currently, Aang was having trouble with trying to find what to teach me first. Ever since I first discovered my bending, it has always been hard for me to do it to the point of barely focusing on improving, instead developing my Sound Bending in place. For some odd reason, it was much easier for me to bend sound rather than the air. Karlie didn't understand at first either and did her best to research more into it with the documents she had only to tell me that since I was pretty much a late bloomer, my energy, or chakra she called it, would have a harder time in bending, creating or manipulating. But with being able to easily bend sound, was a totally different story because no one has ever been able to. Maybe because the whole civilization was wiped out before it was discovered? That's the only good reason we could come up with, a reason that made sense. Aang's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, watching him snap his fingers as an idea popped into his head

"Maybe we should start with something simple, just bending the air waves into shapes?" Bending air waves into shapes? I stared in confusion at him for a moment, furrowing my brows

"Bending air waves into... Shapes?" I asked him and he nodded with a grin, "Yeah! It's quite easy once you get the hang of it, the hard part is maintaining the shape." He told me and beckoned me to stand next to him at the edge of the saddle. I watched his movements intensely as he demonstrated the technique.

His arm movements reminded me of a string, flexible and enduring. I let out a small gasp as I began to see the air beginning to shape in front of us, Aang sticking his tongue out at the side of mouth as concentrated on shaping the air. I began to see the form taking shape, once he was done, he created a puff of air that resembled Appa, the air swirling around within the shape

"Woah..." Aang smiled triumphantly, dropping his hands to let the shape disperse before turning towards me

"Now you try, just first try and string the air together in a way you feel comfortable with."

"Umm... Okay." I nervously stated taking a deep breath and raising my hands out in front of me. Aang watched as I tried to collect air into making a shape, my arms and hands trembling. I really suck at this, but I can't admit defeat now or else I may never learn how to air bend when I really need it. I could tell with the collected air that I managed to collect into a simple small ball that it was shaking, threatening to disperse as I tried my best to maintain it from falling apart. I felt my throat tighten and close up anxiously, not knowing how to stop the shaking in both my limbs or the small ball of air. Doubt consumed me, maybe I really aren't cut out for this sort of thing? Did I make a mistake with even agreeing to leave Omashu, my home? I shook my head, no, stop that Himoko, you're only making it worse. I suddenly felt hands lightly touch my shoulders, glancing back to see it was Aang with a worried look on his face

"Calm down, if you restrain yourself, you won't be able to progress." I gulped, nodding slowly. I returned my attention back to the unstable small ball of air, seeing falling apart with every passing second. How can I calm myself? I tried taking small calm breaths, breathing in through my nose and out of my mouth a few times, but even that's not calming me. The heaviness and constricting in my chest and throat increased, my mind going frantic on how to calm my nerves. What should I do? What can I do? How do I do? Millions of thoughts involuntarily entered my mind, making the situation worsen. Maybe, I really aren't cut out for this...

I defeatedly lowered my arms and let go of the small ball of air, it finally falling apart like my confidence in myself. I sat down and held my head in my hands, dang it, I did it again...

"Himoko-"

"Aang, let me talk to her." I heard Katara's voice and after a few moments of silence, I felt a hand on my back and the surface lowering beside me. I felt them begin to rub my back in comforting circles making my muscles loosen in my back

"Are you alright, Himoko?" Katara's voice was full of worry. I gulped, removing my hands from covering my face and instead rubbing them together in my lap anxiously, avoiding her gaze and question. She sighed at my silence, grabbing hold of my hands with her free one and smiled gently at me

"It isn't easy, you know that. You aren't going to get it right away." Her words somehow struck a chord within, irritating me. I know that! It would be stupid not to know that things are never easy! I fumed silently, my throat still tightening, constricting me from speaking

"Time and patience wins the race-" I cleared my throat, my voice coming out in a small strain, "-Not when you only have a short amount of time..." My voice was bitter, something that it wasn't used to and was foreign to me

"Forget about that-"

"We can't. Dang it... I probably shouldn't have even come in the first place... I serve no purpose to you guys, Aang shouldn't even be worrying about teaching me, he already has enough on his plate as it is."

"Himoko, what do you mean by that?" Katara's concerned continued to grow along with my impatience

"I should leave, no, I have to leave."

"What?!" Both me and Katara jumped and looked over at Aang who stared at me, heart broken and eyes glossy with tears

"You can't leave! You just got here-"

"I'm sorry Aang, it is for the best-"

"No! I won't let you leave, I'm going to teach you how to air bend and that's that!" His yelling shocked me, not expecting this out burst of emotion. But, even with his words, the nagging at the back of my head that I should leave still lingered, influencing my choices

"Aang. You need to focus on mastering all of the elements, not me. It will be easier if I just leave." I told him, my chest tightening and feeling weight pound down on my shoulders. It would be better if he had no distractions, I am distraction, a dead weight

"No Himoko. Even Bumi said that I will teach you how to air bend, and in return you can teach me how to sound bend. You aren't distracting me-"

"I am right now, look." Aang quickly looked away and barely dodged a large peak from a mountain, proving my point. I am a distraction.

To Be continued

Heyo! So this chapter was quite sad and hard to write for me because I know what Himoko is currently going through, she is having doubts on if she should be there with Aang, Katara, and Sokka. I believe and think that a lot of people her age have doubts on what they should be doing, if they should be doing what they are doing at all even! And I find that really sad even when I'm going through the same thing, that's part of the reason why I haven't updated in two weeks, this story. Sorry about that, just been in a bad mindset lately but I'm gonna try and get out of it no matter what. So sorry if this chapter was quite depressing but I still hope you enjoyed and actually begin to see the other side of Himoko's personality, her self-doubt. Thank you all for reading and I will talk to you all later! -Golden