always let your conscience be your guide.

musical

so musical ended today. we had our 4th (last) show tonight. i was very upset because the 9th graders are leaving and because i realized T would have wanted to be there. my friend teddy, the one who died, he would have loved to head me scream all about the shows and he would have loved to try and tell me he would come out to see all the shows and be in the front row for every single one. he would have somehow tried to convince his older brother to let him fly out here for that. he would have tried his hardest to come. and if he did i truly would have sobbed my eyes out. i was so sad because he cant. he just cant and i hate that. well on a slightly less sad note. the directors sang proud of your boy. a bunch of people started crying. we played zoom before we went on stage. and then on stage we all broke zoom rules and started crying and talking and hugging each other. then the curtains opened and we all smiled and were happy. then the tv broke in the chorus room (girls changing room) and we had to go chill in the band room so we could know when to go on stage. i almost forgot part of my costume for friend like me. so i had to RUN and get it. and then walk slowly back stage so i wouldn't mess up the backdrop. then i was so smiley and happy during the scene while i slowly died. during prince ali i had to walk down the aisle and sing right near a row of kids from our grade. during the ending scene i started tearing up and then during bows i "couldnt find my children" as abby puts it. during the cast party, the 9th graders were giving speeches. one tech crew girl talked about how her best friend passed away a few years ago. and he would have been the one to pay the $40 to be in the front row every show and i about sobbed because T would have done the same thing. and then we watched a video of all the pictures of us. and gah. i didnt cry as much as i thought. but i cant believe its over.