always let your conscience be your guide.

better

i sat down with my notebook and i started to make a list of reasons to stay alive and things i would miss if i was dead. i filled three fourths of the page very quickly, i had to think for a little about the last quarter but not too long. it gets better. this will get better. maybe its not better in the morning. maybe i will relapse soon. but im alive. and im trying to stay clean.

earlier today when i was super down, my friend mark texted me and asked if we could FaceTime. we talked for a bit but in the end we just kinda sat there and did our own thing, but it was nice because i couldnt do anything. he was right there. and idk. he's chill and awesome.