always let your conscience be your guide.

i have a situation

i have two friends. we'll call them m (a boy) and b (a girl) and then the third friendish person (not my friend really, but m and b's) we're gonna call him a.

so M and A are dating. they have been for a bit. then B (more of a close friend of mine) confides in me that she likes A. she ends up telling A and A says no sorry I'm in a relationship with M. then he comes back to B saying wait. I like you. but I like M. but i like you more. so it stays that way for a while. B decides that she thinks of A as like a brother so she goes on to date R (jeff and i both saw this as a revenge relationship and i didn't even know the two of them were friends.) so B and R don't talk much during the time they date. then one day at musical B says her and R broke up. she was not sad at all.

A comes back to B saying he wants to break up with M so he and B can date. I think it's the stupidest idea ever. M and B's friendship is already falling apart. but i can't tell B that. so i go with it. asking her every now and then how things are going. one day she says that A said he's finally ready to break up with M to date B. i'm like thats not a good idea. but B was like. oh we're not gonna tell many people. but she told like all her friends (one of which tells everyone everything). its just a bad idea.

i asked M, to see how much he knew, what was up with him and A. he said A had said they should take break and that he said okay. the next day B said that her and A were officially dating. i was confused because i didn't think A telling M they needed a break was really a break up or at least enough for him to start dating B.

today M texted me (he and i have gotten closer since we both are doing lacrosse at school [he's FTM trans and hasn't really come out to like the school, so he has to do girl's lacrosse, not arguing though, then i'm not lonely] and then since he and A have been breaking up we've been talking more.) that he and A officially broke up. and i feel so bad.

but then tomorrow at school B will be mad or ask why i'm consoling M. but it's like. did she really like A that much that she had to come in and do that. but i mean. A didn't have to break up with M. but he knows of B's suicidal thoughts, and I would assume he knows about M's. but it's like. do i have to pick a side. M or B? and if i do, who do i choose.

ah. so much drama. thank God i dont have to deal with that. ✌🏻not allowed to date for 3 years. and even then it's not always okay. it depends on the guy. but it's like. i dont see the point of dating when you're my age. i just never get the feeling like. i like this person so much i want to claim them mine. it's more like. appreciate me please. i will get clingy even as a friend so you dont want to date me.

so yeah. long rant. if anyone has advice that would be appreciated.