Insanity

Chapter Thirty One

I let Jonathon lead me out of the room, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, whispering something in one of the nurse's ear, too quiet for me to hear before taking me down the quiet hallway, trying to shield me from the other patients crowding along the walls.
"Where are we going?", I mumble softly. "What are we doing?"
"Shhh", he says tenderly, stroking my hair for a moment. "Just to your room, okay? Nothing to worry about."
I nod my head slowly, letting my chin hit my chest, keeping my head down as I try to block out the feeling of being watched.
You did good. Next time will be even better.
I shake my head a little, trying to convince myself that there won't be a next time, that I'll be strong enough to resist the urge.
Even though I'm not.
The next thing I know, I'm sitting on a bathroom counter, warm water flowing over my hands and another person washing the blood away.
The masterpiece is gone. You ruined it. You should have killed them all.
"No."
"No what?" I jump, the back of my head banging into the mirror as I look at my father- who I now realize is the one scrubbing my hands clean- with a confused look on my face.
I didn't mean to say that out loud.
"Nothing."
Jonathon raises an eyebrow, but doesn't reply, turning off therapist before grabbing a fluffy white towel.
"You're going to leave once I'm asleep, right?"
"Do you want me to?"
I nod. Let him stay. So he can be next.
"Stop talking", I mutter under my breath. "Leave me alone."
"Baby, no one is here but me", he says gently. "Now, let's get you to bed, alright? It'll all be better when you wake up."
I don't move, leaning my head back against the glass behind me, closing my eyes, letting out a large breath I didn't know I was holding.
You can't ignore me forever, the monster says. I'm a part of you, I always have been. You can never shut my voice out ever again.
-----
"Wake up." Someone shakes my shoulder, bouncing on the mattress beside me. "Wake up!"
I blink open my eyes with a groan, trying to focus on the blurry shape next to me.
"Good. You're awake." Morona's face comes into focus as she jumps on the bed, the mattress springs creaking under the sudden extra weight. "You were out for a looong time."
"Did I really kill him?", I ask. "Did I really stab Sebastian?"
"Over and over with something called a scalpel", she replies brightly. "What a great memory."
"Ha- Have you ever killed before?"
The woman sighs and flops down beside me, rolling onto her stomach, kicking her legs in the air.
"Have you ever heard of the Dusk Killer?", she asks with a grin. When I shake my head, she sighs and says, "Well anyway, that was me. They caught me after ten victims. That they found."
"You killed ten people?!", I exclaim, struggling to sit up, feeling weighed down by my own exhaustion. "Why?!"
"To feed it. The urge consumes you, until you don't even have control of your own body. And I didn't kill ten, I killed eighteen as the Dusk Killer. I'm just good at hiding bodies."
"Then why are you here?"
"Cuz I'm crazy. I couldn't confess to a crime that is technically not my fault for committing."
"Kill any people here?", I question. "I'm guessing you have."
"Five." My eyes widen in shock. "Every other week I get quite the visit from my mother, who always tries to get me to confess, say I'm not crazy so I get out on death row. Wants to find the bodies so she won't have to pay for me to stay here."
"Whats death row?"
"It's when they kill you for being a bad criminal. When you kill too many times or escape prison a lot."
"They'd do that?", I ask, my face playing. "That's cruel."
"Dont worry." Morona pats my arm. "They can't kill the crazies."
We're unstoppable.