I don't know how long I laid on the wooden pews for; a minute, a hour? I couldn't tell. No matter how long it took, Rude found me with my undies more than a meter away from my actual body, cum on my stomach and my breathing resembling a dogs pant. 'Y'tired, aren't cha?' He shrugged his large leather jacket off of his shoulders before laying it on me. Then, he reached over to my dress which was on the floor and began to dress me. 'I'll drive you home, okay?'
'Mm-hm...'
I couldn't stop thinking about Ricky and the way he made me feel. I couldn't describe the euphoria, even when I was touching myself it wasn't the same. I laid in bed, panting heavily with my hand between my legs. I had been doing this much too often. 'Sweetie? Are you in there?'
'I-I'm...g-getting changed, dad! What is it?' I called back, retracting my hand from myself and wiping my cum onto the bedsheets. I pulled my skirt down and sat up, only to notice how sweaty I was.
'Father Martian called! He wants to know if you can come into church, that Ricky boy has been going there and wondering where you are!'
"It's Sunday," I thought to myself "Ricky never shows up on Sunday. He hates the church services and especially the people who come in to pray." Ignoring the thought, I decided to get out of bed and actually change my clothes. I slipped on a black skirt with a peach blouse and black bow around my neck. I looked like a child but I didn't want to be noticed.
I left quickly after changing and made it to the church just after the service had finished. I took a second to prepare myself, taking a deep breath and staring at the sky. "It looks like it's going to rain", I though as I stepped into the church. I shuffled around the room, trying to find Ricky. I ended up finding him talking to some taller punk kids, asking if they had seen me anywhere. Just seeing him sent a distinct wetness between my legs. I reached forward and tugged on his sleeve, too flustered to say anything. '...oh, (Y/n). Where have y-what're you doing?' I was dragging him all the way to the confessionals, away from everyone else. I ignored him and practically threw him into one of the empty confessionals and shut the door behind me before plopping myself down on his lap.
'I-I...wanna feel good again...' I leaned forward, brushing our lips together like last time. 'Please...make the hurt go away...' I begged. Ricky was trying so hard to hold back, I could tell by his breathing. Instead, he leaned back and shook his head.
'I can't, I'm sorry. I...I feel bad for just using you like that.'
'But Ricky...' I whined, pressing myself down further on his lap. He took a sharp breath before digging his fingertips into my sides and yanked me off of him.
'(Y/n), no. I...I can't. I felt so guilty after last time...' I listened, disappointed. Instead of replying, I clenched my fist and stormed out of the small booth. '(Y/n), wait!' I felt people staring as I marched out of the church and back home. '(Y/n) please wait!' Ricky called, chasing after me in a panic. I suddenly spun around in the middle of the street, beginning to feel drops of rain against my skin.
'Why? Why wait? I don't understand! I don't understand anything! Why does nobody love (Y/n)?' I began to shout, feeling something bubble up in my chest. 'I just want to forget about this black void in my heart where mother used to be! I'm so confused! I don't understand anything! I don't know! I just want to fucking understand what I'm feeling! Why'd she have to die? Where does her soul go? What do I do now? Why do keep trying with you? Why do you feel guilty about me instead of the tens of other girls you're fucked with and left on a bench?' I was screaming by that point, clutching onto my forearms as though I was freezing to death. Tears were streaming down my red cheeks but it all just mixed with the rain. Ricky stared at me for a moment, surprised before shrugging off his hoodie and approaching me. 'W-What're you doing?'
'You're freezing...' He draped his jacket over my head, making sure it stopped the rain from getting in my eyes before speaking. 'Come on, I'll take you to your house before you get sick.'
'Where is your dad? Doesn't he-'
'He probably went drinking...he does that a lot...' I informed Ricky as he shut the door behind himself and followed me into the lounge room. My dad had left the TV playing some sort of children's show, so instead of turning it off I just plopped down on the couch and curled up into a ball. Ricky did the same, the only difference being that he asked me if he could hold me. I want in any position to refuse, I could barely speak without letting tears pour from my eyes so I laid my legs across his lap (accidentally dropping his jacket on the floor in the process) and laid my head on his shoulder. 'Ricky?'
'Yes?'
'...are you like this with every girl you bang?' He seemed taken aback by my question and immediately told me the truth.
'I...sometimes, but it's all been an act until now...honestly I only ever slept with girls because I was...I was lonely, alright? I don't have many friends...' I knew exactly how he felt. I understood his level on loneliness and I knew at that point that I wouldn't let it continue. I cupped his jaw gently and pressed my lips to his cheek, my heart melting at the slight "gh" whine he let out. '(Y/n), I'm sorry...for everything. Please let me try again, I'll try and do exactly what I'm supposed to do instead of blindly rushing into things...'
'Ricky, I'm the one who should be sorry...I've been so needy...I just...I liked you since I met you and everything just happened so quickly. Can we please just...can we lay together?' I asked, only wanting him to hold me. He nodded, hooking his arm underneath my back and leaning me back with his head beside mine. His arms were tightly around me, cradling me like a child.
'Is it rushing things if I say that I love you?' Ricky asked, brushing our lips together.
'I hope not...'
Kiss.
