Hope

Chapter 3

As I woke up, feeling much better. I was laying on my side. A warm body was pressed against me. I loved the warmth of Bellamy wrapped all around me. Has he always smelled this good? His arms were around me and I couldn’t move but it also protected me from falling out of the bed. So I was very grateful that he was holding me.
The door was opened and my mother put her head inside. “Hey, Mom.” She looked surprised to find the young man pressed against her daughter. “Are you two okay?”, she asked, stepping in. I nodded carefully trying not to wake him up.
“Do you have everything you need, sweetie?” I nodded again slowly getting annoyed. “Okay, I understand. I will get you checked in the afternoon.” “Yeah, mom”, I whispered.
I felt Bellamy move and wake up. “Hello, Bellamy Blake.” My mother gave him a knowing smile. He smirked carefully, holding my body next to him on the bed. “Okay, bye.” My mother slipped through the door and closed it.
Bellamy was about to get up. “Everything okay?”, I asked worriedly. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s good.” He waved his hand.
“I just didn’t want you to find it out that way.”, he explained. “You know that you mean so much to me, but until the last month I didn’t realise how much actually. I thing I like you more than I should for a friendship.” My eyes widened and my mouth was opened in shock. “What do you want to say, Bellamy?” The words escaped my mouth in a much harsher way, that they were meant.
He cupped my face with his hands and stated: “I love you.” It wasn’t as romantic or cliché as in the movies I’ve seen on the ark, but it had the same effect. My head whirred and my stomach got sick. I couldn’t handle everything. I wanted to pass out but right now my body didn’t. I shook my head in disbelief. Bellamy Blake, the almost killer, the rebel, the leader, my best friend, the person that I know best, just said that he loves me. “Bell ... I don’t know how to ...”, I begun. He got ready to leave the room.
“Take your time, Princess. I’ll be right back.” Bellamy left. He said that it would not take long until he might be back, but I knew him well enough to say, that he would wait for me to come back to him.

I stayed hours in my room thinking about everything. Bellamy is such a nice men and I trust him dearly. He means something to me but can I really be with him. Am I in love with him? Basically I don’t know. I was too afraid to say no and to worried to say yes. What if it doesn’t work? What if we split up badly? Can I risk a great friendship and an even better leadership for an unstable emotion? What if I tell him I don’t know? Will he let go or try to convince me? So much to think about, so little time to not loose him.
My mother came and checked me. She told me that I can go to my own room now. That I don’t need to be at the med bay anymore. She wanted to leave but I interrupted her.
“Mom, can I stay another night?”
“Don’t you feel good?”, she asked worriedly.  “No, no, I’m fine. It’s just ... Things happened and I need some time.” My Mother nodded and told me about a party they had planed tomorrow night. I laid back down after she left but the sleep just didn’t want to come. The thoughts were to strong, holding my body awake.
What if...?