I woke up to Bellamy’s heavy breathing, I was laying with my head on his chest. His body was warm and soft under my touch. I was fully aware of all the details of last night. And I would regret nothing at all.
Not getting drunk. Not sleeping with my “boyfriend”.
Even if it was a fast move from drunken Clarke.
And then I suddenly started thinking about Lexa, hot tears burned my cheeks. I was silently sobbing next to the boy what wanted to spent my life with from now on. How could I do all of this so fast? I tried to tell myself that I am grieving, but that doesn’t give me the right to play with the person next to me.
After a while I didn’t even know if I was crying because of Lexas death or if I was crying because of Bellamy. It would be hard for me, but I didn’t expect it to be this tough.
I slowly got up. Without waking up the man in the sheets, I sneaked out of the room and through the floors of the old space station. I stepped out.
Breathing heavily, I was standing on the clearing.
“Are you okay?”, Murphy said laying a hand on my shoulder. I jumped lightly in shock. “Whoa, take it slow, sweet heart.” Murphy laughed and I did too.
“Is Emori okay?”, I asked getting rid of his hold. His eyes got softer and a smile lighted up his face. “She’s okay, sleeping.” The man in front of me smirked. “And how is Bellamy?” My eyes went wide and Murphy laughed even more.
“How could you know...? I mean you all were so drunk last night. I didn’t expect anyone of you to remember anything at all.” I burbled out.
“I wasn’t as drunk as everyone else. I was on guard. So ... Is it a real thing between you two now?” We went to the fire place, sitting down and lighting up a fire. “I think so”, I mumbled unsure.
“You’ll know for sure if he says the three magic words.” Murphy laughed and I pretended to do the same, but deep inside me I was worried about these three magic words, how he calls them.
“I need to get going. You know, I want to be there when Emori wakes up”, said Murphy, leaving me alone on the fire. Only one more hour ‘til most of them will wake up. Maybe I go back to sleep as long as I can.
I walked back into my quarters and laid down next to the boy, I like. Maybe one day I can say that I do more than that.
