After grandpa's funral we were only days away from Christmas, and decided to spend it at my sisters, since we were already on that side of the state.
It was a nice Christmas for thst family because i hadn't gotten to spend Christmas with them for years, because of weather resricting travel.
My son got awesome presents that he loved.... and we all got toy cars to play with in the snow. But i was still bingeing and depressed...mostly knowing that the one year was fast approaching.
The hardest part was knowing that i would have had a 4 month old to celebrate Christmas with, if i hadnt lost her... thinking about how i should have 2 babies there that yeasr, killed me inside... and i repeatedly broke down balling... it was impossible not to thing of how different that Christmas would have been... and how wrong it felt not to have her there..and how unfair it was that she wasnt with me...knowing my love, feeding her with my body...having that bond..this loss was so unwelcomed..i just didnt know how to deal with it.
Lucky for me (not) we all got the flu the next day, and i spent the next three days puking my brains out...and was not able to think of snowflake....it was the first time i had not thought about her since i lost her..
But as soon as we all got better it wa time to go home... just in time for new years :(
I spent most of the next few days in bed crying over my loss, not getting the support i needed from my hubby, or family....i started seekimg out my old counselor. It was a 2 month waiting list though...
Waiting was going to be hard!!! I needed the help now!!!
YOU ARE READING
Celebrating Snowflake, A Miscarriage Story
Kurgu OlmayanI was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant when i lost my snowflake, it was a very tramatic event, there was a lot of pain involved. There is still a lot of enotional pain, its currently 15 months since i lost snowflake, and we are currently trying to convince. Cou...
