The Falling Stars (The Vamps and One Direction Zombie Apocalypse)

Chapter 15 - R.I.P

“This is where we take the time, to honour those lost in the Battle of Army Base 1” Jake was sat by the fire, which was crackling weekly in the grate. He said his sort of lament every day, and we each stuck to it, honouring the memory of our friends. We even spent time to remember Benjamin and Megan, because although in the end they did wrong, they were simply driven by fear, two lost souls searching for a world that was long gone.

He was talking, but I couldn’t think. I just stared at the bearded dragon in his cage, climbing the leafy twig I had thrown in when feeding him. Ever since the battle, no one really spoke except at 4pm every day to remember the dead. Smiles were a luxury. We had abandoned the plan to head to two, and were just planning to stay at the cottage we found a fair way away from one. We could stay there forever. By now, no of us cared if we died.

Jake continued to talk, and James was crying again. He had his head propped up on his arm, and his eyes were hidden by his lids, but every now and then a huge tear would slide from beneath the skin and drop down his face. So this was it. How it really was.

Because, when you watch the television shows, and movies, and read the books, you expect it to be all action and adventure. You want it to be kicking un-dead ass and kissing the girl and everything turns out okay in the end, but it really isn’t.

It’s more of a lifestyle. Like how they say that once you become an alcoholic, you will always be an alcoholic. Well it’s a similar thing. Once you fall into an apocalypse, there’s no going back. We all had blood on our hands, and there we sat, in that tiny and dishevelled cottage with its measly barricades and poor lighting. Five murderers drowning in our own despair.

James hadn’t spoken at all since we left the base, but at that moment he did. Brad was messing with the ham radio he’d practically been hooked up to since we left, but yet again all we got was white noise. Ellie was flicking through a book she had found on the shelf. Casey was asleep.

“I miss her” James whispered, eyes still closed. Jake’s speech was just a hiss of breath now, with only his lips moving as he had his eyes on a spot far in the distance.

“I miss them all” I replied, placing my hand on his shoulder. He flinched like it was hot, but opened his eyes, and looked at me dead on

“I loved her” His voice was choked

“I know” I replied, feeling the tears in the back of my eyes.

“But that’s why I have to move on” He choked again, a strangled quality to his voice “I have to keep going. For her.”

“They say the things you love always find a way of coming back to you” I whispered

“That’s twisted mate” his voice had a hint of the old James

“No, I mean one day we will get the cure, and she will be there and you will get her back”

“You’re right” The ghost of a smile flew across his face.

Jake was still whispering quietly. I figured I had calmed James down a bit for the time being, though I doubted we would ever find the cure, so I walked over to Brad who was still messing with the radio.

He bashed it with his fist and cursed, but carried on tuning it.

“You found anything yet?” I asked him, sitting down on the floor beside him.

“No, well, at one point I thought I heard a voice but it was late night and I think I was just imagining it”

“mmm” I agreed, nodding and shaking my head

“But I thought” Brad lowered his voice like he didn’t want the others to hear “This might help us get to Tris, I mean, he had that little radio, and if he could broadcast back...”

I hugged Brad hard.

“Genius!” I practically yelled “Plus loads of people know radio control and stuff now, there could be thousands out there!”

Casey woke up and I could see her looking in at Rex. She smiled when she heard us talking. “I hope he is at the other end now!” She said brightly “I wanna meet this elusive fourth band member!”

Jake even smiled a bit when he saw us all together. He looked at us all meaningfully, and then looked down and up again. James was watching us too, very intently.

“I will use all possible scientific knowledge I have, or can gain, but I will, I swear to god I will find that damn cure or die trying” His voice became hoarse towards the end of his sentence. “For Emilie and our baby”

He sat down by us and started to examine the radio. I thought I heard James whisper

“I will, for Lucy” But it was so quiet I couldn’t be sure at all.

I looked around then, as I often did, and felt like there should be more people. There should be more people, but there weren’t. We’d gone from a group of 15 to a group of 5 in less than an hour and we all sometimes found it hard to process. It felt like someone should be in the bathroom. Someone should be in the kitchen searching the cupboards, or upstairs practising with weights, or even just sat with us, playing one of our stupid card games. Everyone was just gone.

There was that word again. The word that was so final I never wanted to comprehend it. I wanted it to no longer be part of a dictionary, to no longer have a feasible meaning. It should never be used, but nevertheless it was. Because they were, gone.

And they always would be. They had become the earth that we walked on and the air that we breathed. I could feel their souls in those rare occasions when people smiled. They were the stars in the sky and the flowers in the grass.

They were gone, but they would never truly leave us.