The Falling Stars (The Vamps and One Direction Zombie Apocalypse)

Chapter 25- Depressing Shit.

The back room was empty again thank god. Finally, I could have time for myself.

It was at time like this when that deep, primal sense of fear almost overcame my whole world. I was fuelled purely on adrenaline, and the idea that maybe one day, some glorious day that elusive cure could be presented to us shining from the light of a golden sun and the world could be right again.

But for now, I could sit, fingers wrapped around the edges of the smooth and dusty cafe table, paralysed by the all consuming fear that would never go away. It was the fear that is only supposed to come to you once in a life time. The kind of fear that surfaces in you when a blade touches the inside of your wrist in the dead of night, and you know no matter what you do there is no escape. It’s that gun-to-the-temple constant fear that proves to us that this is real.

After all this time, it cannot be a nightmare. Because nightmare’s are not real. Zombies weren’t supposed to be real either but that didn’t work out so well and now were stuck in the world, surrounded by the dead and fearing tomorrow. So many times I had wondered whether to do what Maddy did. Or what we thought she did before Megan told us the truth and let all the infected into our compound. I could kill myself, any day, anytime, and to be honest no one would really care. I didn’t have anyone to love me, not really. My family were probably dead, and I’d not had a relationship for years. If Brad died, Ellie would mourn him. Jake and James were living proof they loved Emilie and Lucy, as their pained screams and thrashing nightmares revealed.

I had caught James seconds in time the week before. Two days after the explosion I had walked into the back room for some time to myself when I had caught him slouched on a chair, holding the last picture of Lucy, and one of his family, a gun to his temple. I had clawed within myself for several seconds for something to tell him as his blue and pain-filled eyes gazed at me, but there was nothing I could actually say. I couldn’t tell him everything was going to be alright, because it wasn’t.

If I could just be brave, like he nearly was, I could do it. I could end my life and end all of this.

The world was full of primal emotions right that second. Fear, anger tension love and deep, deep pain, all residing in one all encompassing sense of life. All this was a proof I was alive, and I hated it.

I wrapped my hands around my head pulling it close to my chest. It had been a while since my last hair cut and the strands fell over my face. I needed to shave too if I wasn’t going to escape the scruffy tramp look. But that wasn’t exactly on my mind that moment in the cafe, and all I could do was yell.

I yelled from deep in my stomach, so hard my throat was raw in a second. I roared and screamed until the sound became nothing but pitiful sobs. I was weak. It was not the time. I may have been alone but it was only seconds before the door slammed open and someone came running in. I didn’t look up. I couldn’t be bothered to hear their pity.

When the hand fell on that shoulder I knew it was Brad. I sucked in a harsh breath, glaring into the sleeve of my warn blue t-shirt. I shook my shoulder violently and the hand slid off, but he didn’t leave. There were no footsteps to announce his departure and his breathing was quite loud behind me, ragged, like he was crying too.

The scrape of a chair being dragged along the ground set my teeth on edge and I held my breath until I heard his weight fall into the chair. Propping myself up on my right hand I raised my glare to rest on him.

He looked a bit taken aback by the toxicity of my glare, and raised his hands in surrender. I sized him up, my stare returning to a regular look as my eyes washed over his sorry frame.

His shoulders sagged down in defeat and his sling to support his damaged collar bone looked scruffy and sad. His clothing was dishevelled, dirty and threadbare and the soles flapped off his shoes forlornly. His eyes were tired and red and he sniffed before wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“What’s up?” I croaked, my voice sounding raw with misuse and disembodied because it should have been screaming.

“I er.. Asked her to marry me.” He said flatly. “I mean not for real, it can’t be for real here but, you know like, if I’m going to die in the next few years I thought I might as well try for a forever with her”

I put my head down. It was almost obvious what he was going to say next.

“But, she said no.” I thought he was going to leave it there “And she dumped me.”

I almost gasped.

“She said she needed a break and we could try again maybe another time because she loves me but she doesn’t know how we can make it work here and now” He sniffed again.

“You will.” I said with no emotion in my voice.

I think he could read my almost jealous expression that he could even have a problem like this as his next comment was

“You will find someone Connor”

“It’s the frigging apocalypse Brad, not a dating site” I replied shortly.

“Well we’ll be at the radio tower in a day or so now James is back on his feet, and that girl with the hair is going to be there! You were obsessed with her back at the base.”

“I was not obsessed!” I nearly shouted “I just found her interesting, fascinating, even”

“The line between obsessive stalker and interested fascinator is very fine my dear Condora”

I silenced him by punching him on top of his head. He scrubbed his eyes with his hands, chuckling lightly.

“Oh my god Connor you need to cut your hair you look like a woolly mammoth you scrubber!”

“You can’t talk mate!” I laughed “You look like you’ve been pulled out of a rubbish sack and left out to dry! I better get out of here before your cloud of flies appears!”

“Oh ha ha” He fake laughed, diving for my ankle with his foot. He kicked my swiftly, the ground being pulled out from beneath me in seconds. I crashed to the ground, groaning with laughter as he put his foot on my stomach to signify a win.

“Wow, you got beaten by a man with his arm in a sling, how does that feel?” he laughed, blowing across the top of his nails in apparent victory.

“You wish” I grinned, throwing him off and jumping to my feet.

A/N So this chapter was total b s. I'm sorry. I might update later tonight or tomorow though so hopefully you'll forgive me for this shitty chapter.

Lia xxx