Howdy! It's Dani here. I use the featured short person jokes on my mother all the time. Avery is making me write this chapter because I'm "technically a recording artist." (I'm not. I've only recorded three times)
Woody POV:
For the rest of the day, losing that bet but me in an awful mood. I can list ten reasons the previous events are a complete and utter disappointment to my name and life.
1) I'm never going to hear the end of this.
2) I'm shorter than a twelve year old girl.
3) They were probably just kidding and I'm actually taller than her.
4) I lost £20.
5) I don't have money for the tube home and I'll have to walk or hitch a ride with Kyle.
6) I'm going to have to get a ride from Kyle, who plays "music that sounds like an iPod breaking" (Quote stolen from Will)
7) Someone will probably tweet about this, and everyone will know that I'm not actually 5'10.
8) Plymouth lost their football game. It's irrelevant, but adds to my mood.
9) Everyone knows that's (#8) not the only reason I'm upset.
10) Laura's shoes probably made her appear taller, causing her to win.
We're currently eating lunch in the lounge. Dan has ran off because he has an idea and must record it immediately. It's a short piano bit that he's mumbling gibberish with. Everyone but me is slowly eating (We grabbed Taco Bell) and doing their own thing. Will is sketching an eyeball on a napkin, Charlie is madly typing into his phone, Laura is folding the £20 note into an origami heart, and Kyle is blowing up the group chat and giggling loudly as he does so. Everyone but him is being a good sport about me losing the bet with Laura, and it's annoying the shit out of me.
Kylesaurus: Wow Woody, I'm surprised you had £20
Wooden Shoe: Why is that?
Kylesaurus: I thought you would be a little bit short changed.
Wooden Shoe: Jesus Christ, Kyle. That was awful.
Kylesaurus: I know why nobody could've pick pocketed you
Kylesaurus: Cause nobody can stoop that low.
Kylesaurus: I know why are standards as a band are so low
Kylesaurus: Because if we raise them, you might not be able to reach them.
Kylesaurus: Woody..?
Wooden Shoe: Yes?
Kylesaurus: I figured out why people like you
Wooden Shoe: And that is..?
Kylesaurus: You're just so down to earth
Wooden Shoe: Fucking stop.
Kylesaurus: Wowwwww... short tempered!
"Kyle, please stop blowing up the group chat." Will says, removing an earbud.
"What's he doing in the group chat?" Charlie asks.
"I'll add you."
"Thanks."
Lord Farquarson has added Charlie Barnes to the group chat
Charlie Barnes: Bahahahahahhaha
Dance'mith: You need a cool name like us.
Charlo B: Done.
YOU ARE READING
Lost Dad: Dan Smith
Fanfiction"Hello, Mr. Smith. We're calling about a child you had with..." Theres a pause, "Ashley Caraway." - "Laura, about your Dad... He wants to meet you."
