Lost Dad: Dan Smith

Forty One: Stay With Me

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER FROM * TO *. ALSO MARKED WITH [TRIGGER SECTION OVER]. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SEXUAL ABUSE THEMES, SKIP THIS CHAPTER. A RECAP OF WHAT HAPPENED IS AT THE VERY END SO ITS NOT LIKE YOU MISSED ANYTHING.

=

*Laura POV:

"Dutch... Get off me!" I exclaim, trying to get someone to hear me. He's too drunk to be around anyone. He holds my hand and waist in an escorting fashion.

"I'm not doing anything to hurt you." Dutch argues, leading me into my bedroom.

"Dutch! Stop! Now!" I command, trying to empower myself over him.

"Not yet!" Dutch says, backing me up near my bed. I start to physically fight him, pushing his arms off me. He backs me up until I've fallen backwards onto the mattress.

"Get off of me!" I scream, trying to push him away.

"Not until I'm done with you." Dutch replies, getting more and more on top of me.

"Dutch, please stop. You wouldn't be doing this if you were sober!" I yell. Dutch clasps his hand over my mouth.

"Be quiet or you're going to get it worse." Dutch threatens.

"I'm just a kid!" I try to yell, but it comes out as a jumble of infant-like sounds and is impossible to decode.

"Shhhh." He coaxes, using his spare hand to stroke the side of my face. He starts to pull up the bottom of my shirt. I try scream loudly.

"Shhhh... It's okay, baby girl. It'll all be over in a minute." He whispers in my ear.

Out of nowhere, Dutch pulls out a pair of handcuffs. He's so much bigger and stronger than me, that he manages to secure my wrists together around a post on the headboard of my bed with ease. He then has one free hand (his left if covering my mouth) to do whatever he wants to me.

There's nothing I can do but squirm away from him, which angers him more. His aggressive pulling causes his nails to dig into my skin as he holds me down. Dutch pulls his hand off my mouth. "You know what?" He says. "Scream all you want, kid. Mummy isn't here to save you."

And I do, even though I know that he had put on the front door a sign that read: "We will be recording screams and torture sounds. Do not call the police." 

What he does makes me feel filthy, but not a kind I can wash away with soap. The kind that gnashes holes in my heart forever.

*(TRIGGER SECTION OVER)

I wake up in a pool of my cold sweat and tears. I can't believe it happened again. I've been reliving that horrible night for months. Almost every night after Dutch has found himself in my thoughts. A figure stands in the corner of my room. After a blink, he's gone. I know it's my mind, but I can't bear it all crawling into my head and building a self destruct button. Every time I hear footsteps from the hallway of the apartment complex, I hold still. I don't know if Dutch wants no trouble, or to get us back. If he wants to get me back, It could be easy if he uses that mind of his. The man is devilishly smart when it comes to revenge. It's only a question of how badly he wants to destroy you. What would he do? Break in? Hurt us on the streets? What if he's the one who took my mom and will punish her as revenge? He was the last person who for sure saw her alive. My mom trusted him with me, and if she would put down the bottle of liquor and pick up her heart, she would've seen that she shouldn't have left me with him while she was 'working' at night. My door opens and a soft ray of light from the hallway lights up the room. 

"Laura? Are you crying?" Dan asks from the hallway. I've always been a loud crier. I forgot he was just in the other room.

 "I'm fine." I reply.

 "No you're not." Dan says. Even though my eyes are closed, I can tell he sat down on the side of my bed. 

"You're not telling me the whole story with Dutch, are you?" Dan asks. 

"I..." I start. I don't want to make Dan worried, but I also don't want to lie. 

"It's okay. You don't need to tell me right now if it makes you really uncomfortable." Dan says. I really like that about him. He doesn't want me to feel pressured to tell him my whole life story. 

"It's fine. It's kind of a big part of me." I say. What am I doing? 

"I'm here to listen." Dan replies. 

"I have this reoccurring... sort of... nightmare of something that... happened one night. It was the night before I last saw my mom." I say. 

"What did he do?" Dan sounds extremely worried.

 "He..." I say, but I can't finish my sentence. My voice bounces and skips as I cry. If I talk, he won't be able to understand anyway, so I just take a moment.

 "Did... did he hurt you?" Dan asks. I do the cliche pathetic cry-sniffle. 

"Kinda." I reply. Dan lays down next to me. 

"That's abuse. This fu...guy really deserves to be in jail." Dan says. "And the way he was touching you earlier makes me thing it was sexual abuse." He says.

 Don't start bawling, don't start bawling, down start bawling your flipping eyes out. I wipe a stream off my nose. "It was." I say. Dan wraps his arms around me. 

"I am so, so, sorry." He says. "Nobody should have to go through this." He says. I think he's crying too.

"It's okay now." I say.

"No it's not." Dan whispers. "If you're crying over it, it's not okay."

"I understand." I reply, not knowing exactly what to say.

"One last question:" Dan says. I bet I can guess what it is. "Have you hurt yourself tonight?" He asks. 

"No." I say truthfully. "I maybe would've if you hadn't come in." I admit. 

"Thank you for not." Dan says, squeezing my hand affectionately 

"Wont you... stay with me?" I half ask/half sing.

"Of course." Dan replies, then finishing the next line of the song."Cause you're all I need."

=

I really felt like this chapter was necessary, and I'm sorry if you found this a negative turn to the story.

HERES WHAT HAPPENED IF YOU DIDNT READ AND WANT TO KNOW GENERALLY WHAT HAPPENED:

-Laura had a reoccurring nightmare of her being sexually abused by Dutch, which also had happened to her in her reality just before Ashley 'disappeared'.

-She woke up worrying Dutch would get back at them.

-Dan heard her crying in her bed and they talked. 

-Laura did not hurt herself.

-Dan is spending the night in Laura's room with her.