First Day of My Life

Hey Mickey

It was his third day on restrictive duty and Mickey was bored as hell. He wanted to be out in the field, fucking up drug dealers, but instead he was sitting at a desk, stamping 'Confidential' on papers that weren't even interesting enough to read. As if things couldn't get worse, Zev was at the desk next to him rambling on and on about his sister.

"You know what else she does that is just the cutest?" Zev continued, tapping his finger against his chin.

"Clogs the toilet after she eats Waffle House?" Mickey guessed not looking up from his stack of papers.

"My baby does not shit," Zev said shaking his head at the idea.

"Oh she does," Mickey assured him, "and it don't smell like roses."

"Mikhailo Milkovich, you have the freshest mouth, I swear," Zev groused, "I would think you'd be in a better mood since you are making love with your carrot."

Mickey's cheeks flushed pink at the statement, his eyes darting around the room to see if any of the other guys heard. From the way that they were trying to avoid looking back at him, he was sure they had. "You're too goddamn loud," He hissed, "and I'm not fucking anyone."

"I heard a lot of moaning coming from your room the other night," Zev said simply, "then your boy walks out half naked with his surprisingly monstrous third arm practically hanging out of his panties. I don't like this around my Mandy. It's disrespectful."

Mickey couldn't help but laugh at the description, "He's fucking gay. Don't think you got shit to worry about."

"She is not and that shlong hanging around must be tempting for her to look at. I caught myself staring," Zev stated matter-of-factly.

"Maybe you like cock," Mickey whispered with smirk, "That would be like the fourth time that shit happened to Mandy. Let her down easy."

Zev scoffed, "I'm annoyed by you today."

"Yeah, well. I'm annoyed by you every day," Mickey said with a shrug, noticing how the action no longer aggravated his healing shoulder. He took his phone out of his pocket and leaned back in his chair, resting his feet on his desk.

"You taking a break," Zev asked, voice full of judgement.

"I'm taking a fuck you, that's what I'm taking," Mickey said, flipping Zev the bird.

"You want to hear the funny story Mandy told me last night while we were basking in our afterglow?"

"Um, no. Rather eat glass," Mickey replied plainly opening his Grindr app. He had 10 new messages, but only one caught his eye, "You gotta be fucking kidding me," he muttered to himself when he saw a selfie of a shirtless Ian giving the finger to his camera.

HeyMickey1416 (9:02): Hey Mickey. You're so fine. You're so fine... Can I blow your mind?

9MMGlock (9:47): Get outta my notifications. Thought U didn't have an account.

HeyMickey1416 (9:49): Heard you can find hot guys to fuck on here. I only wanna fuck 1 & he's on here, so here I am.

9MMGlock (9:52): Who is he?

HeyMickey1416 (9:55): My future husband.

9MMGlock (9:57): Fuck Gallagher, u got this whole 'don't expect 2 much' down.

HeyMickey1416: (9:58): Do u get a lot of dick with that name? I'd be afraid to meet u.

9MMGlock (9:59): I do alright & that's cuz ur a pussy. Hey Mickey... really? U know that shit annoys me.

HeyMickey1416 (9:59): Everything annoys u.

9MMGlock (10:00): (Middle Finger Emoji)

HeyMickey1416 (10:01): So MM = ur initials Glock = gun Is the 9 for me? (winky face)