First Day of My Life

Hoping and Dreaming

It had been so long since Ian had woken up happy and everything was different; his body was thrumming with excitement, his heart full of hope instead of the miserable ache it had grown so accustomed to. He brought his fingertips up to his well-kissed lips, allowing them to rest on the tingling skin, his mind reminiscing on all of the kisses he'd shared with Mickey the night before; kiss after kiss after kiss, each one more intense and loving than the one that preceded it. Mickey grabbing him, pulling him closer, grasping into his hair, while reacquainting with his mouth had charged him full of an energy that he'd thought he'd never be able to get back. With every movement of their lips, every swirl of their tongues, the way they had melted together, his emptiness had begun to dissolve. Mickey had kissed his numbness away; made him feel again, revived him.

He reached his arms behind his head and let out a contented groan as his spine lengthened and stretched. Maybe he'd go for a run before work. Pulling himself up to a seated position, he moved the drapes that were hung haphazardly over the window so he could check the weather. The snow that had fallen last night was nothing more than dirty lumps pushed to the side of the street by plows. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. It was incredible that everything seemed so much brighter and more deeply pigmented than it had the day before. He hadn't realized how grey things were until he saw the blue of Mickey's eyes again.

He was definitely going to run and he knew exactly where he was headed. He got dressed as quickly as he could and practically bounced down the stairs into the kitchen, "Good morning, beautiful family!" He greeted, smiling widely at Fiona, Lip and Liam.

"Guess your date went well last night?" Lip smirked, watching as Ian grabbed a banana and took a bite. The redhead lifted an eyebrow and tilted his head.

"You had a date?" Fiona asked, gasping excitedly, the surprise evident on her face. She rubbed Ian's back warmly, "I'm so glad! With who? Where'd you go? Spill it."

"With Mick," Ian replied his mouth full, "We went to Sizzler and it was fucking amazing."

"So, your date was with Mickey," Fiona stated, as if English had become a foreign language to her. She shot an anxious glance at Lip and then looked at Ian, "You two back together?"

"Saw that," Ian said referencing her display of concern, "Bipolar doesn't make me blind," he reminded her, "or stupid." He hated the way Fiona treated and looked at him ever since his diagnosis. She could never hide the pity, worry or fear in her eyes.

"I'm just..." She sighed, "I don't want you to get too wrapped up in Mickey."

He turned to Lip as if Fiona hadn't just spoken. "There's this, like, really annoying chirping noise in here. Do you hear it?"

Lip held back his laugh, but the smirk was evident on his lips.

"Really, Ian?" Fiona groused, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," He said tossing his banana peel into the garbage can, "What do I need bring to register for a college class?"

"You're taking a class?" Fiona asked, but her question went unanswered as Ian continued to look expectantly towards his brother.

"Um, you gotta bring an ID and a credit card, check, any kinda money," Lip replied, taking a bite of his toast, "What class are you gonna take?"

"Not sure yet," Ian lied, "just thinking about it." Lip gave his brother a knowing glance, able to read him like his favorite book and dropped the subject. He'd tell him when he was ready. He always did. While most of their family unabashedly aired their dirty laundry, Ian was different. Growing up gay on the South Side had made him more guarded, more tentative to share. Though he had been cautious before his diagnosis, Ian's discretion increased exponentially after. Lip knew he didn't want all of his decisions scrutinized and second-guessed in the way that Fiona had the habit of doing. He'd remind them that he was a man, not a child, even though somewhere deep inside, he knew that sometimes he couldn't trust himself. "I'll see you later."