Still Into You (ON HOLD)

3.In Stranger's Hand

How can you let go of someone that easy if that someone is your first in everything?

-------------------------------

After working hours i finally got up,checked and cleaned the shop a bit myself (nauuna kase umuwi si Mia) closed it and make myself ready for tonight.

Hell yes. Im going to bar myself alone to take some shots ,enjoy and be numb. Be numb from the pain i feel inside. Im still in shock from the unexpected meeting between me , Sam and her newest girl.

I texted no one. I never invited anyone because i feel that i have to deal with this with myself. Ngayon ko lang gagawing uminom mag isa and it gave me a little nervousness and a little excitement too but before that nagtext muna ako kay mama na may dadaanan lang ako kunware saglit. White lies works sometimes naman diba?

I found a perfect spot just around the corner and entered there. Di ko na pinag aksayahan ng oras tignan ang name ng bar. Hindi ako pumunta sa bar ni kuya Jasper kase malakas ang pakiramdam ko na dun magkikita kita sila Sam at ng mga kaibigan nya kase sabi nya nga kanina kikitain nya ang mga ito tonight kaya iiba ako ng bar. Mahirap na baka ma.spot.an pa nila ako at ma.ruin na naman ang gabi ko. Na.ruin na nga ang umaga ko eh.

I immediately walk towards the bartender and ordered some vodka. Im in a bad need of alcohol this night. Hays.

F*ck. Nagmuka akong ewan sa harap nila kanina. Like really? Hindi ko alam how to act right  infront of her. Just great. Now my defenses ive built for so many months are actually getting down easily.
Nai.stress akoooooo !!!

I shot my drink straight up bago pa ko maloka kakaisip..

"Hoooh. That was a hard one" pero lampake. "Isa pa nga po. Pleaseeee?" I pouted at the bartender while asking for another one.

"Hey. What's that for? Haha. Okay libre ko to sayo since napakacute mo miss."he smiled widely and gave me another one.

Im not a wasalak pero this night feels that ill become one ,for once. I straightened it up again and before i could ask for more from the bartender ay nakaramdam ako ng numbness at konting pagkahilo.

This is what i need to feel. No. This is what i have to feel right now to cover or forget the pain.sinusukol ako ng sarili kong damdamin. Pagkakita ko sa kanya alam ko na talaga na after all these times wala pa ding nagbabago sa nararamdaman ko para kay Sam. Sya parin ang una sa puso ko. Sya parin ang gusto ko and i cant f*cking deny it to myself which really sucks.

Pero sya? Nakalimutan na nya ako. Napalitan. Ganung kadali para sa kanya. Palibhasa maganda sya, mayaman sya,she can have what or whoever she wants ng walang kahirap hirap.

F*CK !!!!!

"Please i-isa pa"i hold back my tears while asking for more. Pero hindi na nagpapigil at masaganang tumulo lahat ng luha ko na ikinagulat ng nasa harap ko.

"Okay ka lang miss?"tanung nya habang inaabot ang isa pa.

Tumango lang ako at parang batang pinunasan ang mga luha ko gamit ang aking braso at suminghot. Inabot ko ang baso at ininum muli ito. Humingi ng isa pa at ininum uli. Kahit malasing ako basta makalimutan ko sya kahit ngayon lang.

Shit! Kailan ba mauubos ang luha ko sa kanya?oo nga napatawad ko na sya. Siguro nga mali din ako for not believing her pero mali din naman sya. Pero dapat talagang ok na ko pero bakit hindi parin?

Tumingin muna ako sa taas and took a deep breath for a moment to calm myself down. I am not so enjoying this kind of feeling. Sana sumama nalang lahat ng sakit sa luhang lumalabas sakin. Sana. Sana. Sana.