Numbers Never End

Chapter 10

- Kageyama's P.O.V - 

My sunshine cuts? No, no, no, no, NO! This has to be a sick joke or maybe I'm just in a nightmare and I'll wake up and Hinata will be a smiling sunshine like he usually was! There is no way of someone being this happy like him be so depressed to the fact that the only way to be happy is the cut?!?

"Ka-Kageyama...? Please answer me..." Hinata's weak voice brought me back to reality where I realized that Hinata wasn't lying, he was actually depressed, h-he cut...

"You're lying!" I growled at him. I didn't want to believe it even though I knew I had to.

"B-But I'm not... Though I wish I was..." I could barely hear his voice over the sound of my own breathing and my thoughts.

"I-I'm sorry Hinata, but I can no longer love you..." Was I making the right choice? No I wasn't but I didn't know what to do or say, all I could see was red.

"I understand, t-thank you for giving me a chance..." Hinata mumbled, getting up, "It was bound to happen anyway...!" HInata looked back at me with tears streaming down his pale face yet what broke my heart even more, he still managed to smile before leaving me alone in the dark room.

I made a grave mistake....

xXx

A few days later I barely saw Hinata and if I did it looked like he was like he recently just finished crying. I must of actually broken his heart by yelling at him... Oh dear god, I really screwed up.

"Hey Kageyama...? Can I ask you a question?" Suga came up to me as I was reading or rather trying to because my thoughts kept wandering to Hinata's pale face. 

"Sure go on ahead." I spoke, looking over my book. 

"Do you know what happened to Hinata? He seems to be down in the dumps... He barely talks or even looks at us anymore... I'm really worried." Suga tapped and played with this fingers, deep in thought.

My eyes go wide, my sunshine... It wasn't just to me, it was to everyone, "Really? Now that you mentioned it, I've been noticing the same thing... But I have no clue what's going on." I couldn't tell Suga that I'm the one who caused Hinata to be like this. 

I watched Suga as he drooped in sorrow, kinda like a flower that wasn't taken care of, "Oh... But thank you Kageyama!" Suga quickly regained his smile and walked away.

Setting down my book I went to go find Hinata. I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't bare to see Hinata be sad like this, I hate it and it's all my fault.

Once I walked upstairs I saw a flash of orange hair run into the bathroom. Knowing it was Hinata, I followed in pursuit.

"Hinata? Are you in there?" I asked the locked door after trying to opening it. I had to carefully think about what I was going to say, I couldn't afford to say anything stupid again.

"They were right Kageyama... How could someone love a depressed child? I can barely love myself..." I heard Hinata mumble though I could barely hear it over the sound of him crying, "They were right all along and yet I went in blindly knowing that my heart will be broken... I was and am a fool..."

"Hinata, who are you talking about? Who is telling you these things!?! Hinata please, just open the door..." I began to pound on the door, close to tears myself, "I may not know who you are talking about but I know that they are wrong, so now please just open the door..."

Instead of hearing an answer from him, I just heard silence and the soft 'click' of the door being unlocked. Then the door swung open, revealing Hinata with messy hair and tears streaming down his face.

"Y-You really mean that Ka-Kageyama...?" Hinata asked, not bothering to wipe his tears away.

"Of course I mean that..." I reached out to wipe his tears but he flinched away. So I let my hand drop, "I'm sorry that I yelled at you, I was angry, I was angry at myself for not noticing sooner or at least trying to help you.. I'm so sorry, I love you to much to see you sad... Please forgive me..."

"Kageyama..." Hinata wiped away his tears with his sleeve, drenching it, "I-I'm sorry I d-didn't tell you sooner... I was worried about what you were going to say. B-But I guess everything is okay...!"

"Hinata... Please don't worry about it... I'm not mad at you I promise." I take a step closer to him then I pull him closer to me, hugging him, "Just promise that you'll tell me before you... cut..."

"Why...?" I heard Hinata ask me even though he was crying, "Just so that you'll feel better about yourself? Just so that you'll have on more good deed before you die?" Hinata pulled away from my grasp, "I honestly appreciate the help but I'm fine, I can deal with it." Hinata smiled weakly before walking away.

"Hinata... I didn't mean it like that..." I started to chase after him, once again.

"Then what did you mean?" Hinata was standing in our room, about to close the door.

Sighing I slipped in before Hinata had a chance to close the door, "What I mean is that I hate to see you in pain and sad... I was to see you happy, I love your smile. So please just let me help you..."

I saw Hinata's frown turn hopeful but that quickly fell, "That's what they all say... How do I now that you aren't like the rest?"

Sighing once again I grabbed onto Hinata's face and forced him to look at me, "I'll say it now and foreverm I love you, and I hate to see you in pain." 

I watched Hinata's beautiful brown eyes well up with tears again, "Y-you mean it... Y-Your face nor your eyes are lying. You really mean it... Thank you Kageyama..."

I tilted my head confused, "What? How can you tell if someone us lying?" Of course I wasn't lying, I was just curious on how someone could tell if you were lying.

"It's kinda hard to explain... B-But people have been lying to me for years... I kinda just learnt to studies someones features when they are talking to me..." Hinata truged towards me and hugged me first. Usually I was the one to hug him but I guess today is just full of surprises, "Hey Kageyama, could you keep my cutting a secret...? I'm not ready to tell them."

I just nodded in response, "I would usually say not but this is your problem and you can deal with it yourself, you're strong. But if you ever need help just ask me or anyone you trust, okay?" I hugged him in return, "Also thank you for telling me."

Hinata didn't reply but he nodded before he fell asleep.

xXx