Numbers Never End

Chapter 4

- Hinata's P.O.V -

I was standing near the edge of the highway, watching the cars speed past me. Even though I was looking at the moving cars, my main focus was on my feet which were planted were I stood, not moving, even though I wanted them to move, just a little closer to the edge of the road. 

"Oi! Dumb ass Hinata, I finally found you and I need to tell you something really important." Kageyama ran up to me and forced me to face him.

I no longer tried to hide my tears, I was sick and tired of putting on a mask of happiness. My tears just kept falling and I let them, "W-what is it Kageyama...?"

"I hate you and you should just die." Kageyama smirked before pushing me in front of a moving car.

Well, at least you got your wish Kageyama and I got mine.

xXx

Once I woke I was aware that I was in my, no, our room, and that I was crying. Just like in my dream. It wasn't a silent cry, this was actual crying. I didn't care if I woke anyone up, I just needed to get everything out of my system.

"D-Does Kageyama really want for me to die?" I asked to no one in particular. The darkness was the only thing to comfort me. Even then it didn't work. Sighing I ran my fingers through my messy orange hair.

"Hey Hinata, are you okay?" I heard Kageyama ask from the other side of the room, I must of have woken him up from my crying.

"I-I just had a nightmare, nothing to worry about!" My voice sound choked up with tears as I tried to wipe away my tears even though my tears kept falling.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." Kageyama began to make his way over to me. Once he did, he hugged me. Something that no one has done towards at me. It felt odd yet nice, "Do you mind telling me about it?"

I pondered on this comment for a moment but then nodded, "S-Someone I deeply cared for t-told me t-that I should just go die...!" I broke out into tears once again.

"Hinata..." Kageyama looked at me with eyes that were soft.

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with petty things. I-It's nothing that big..." I tired to reassure both me and Kageyama.

"No Hinata, it's not okay!" Kageyama held me closer and did the most unthinkable thing, he kissed me, Kageyama actually kissed me, "I love you to much to see you bringing yourself down. I love to see you happy."

"K-Kageyama l-loves me...?" I thought to myself, not believing Kageyama, "T-This must be another nightmare... Or a sick joke." I mumbled aloud.

"What makes you say that?" Kageyama squeezed my arms, making flinch.

"Who would ever love a depressed child?" I haven't heard the words 'I love you' since I was six, I can only think that people are only joking now." I laughed softly, my tears falling down face.

"Hinata... Why I say 'I love you' I mean it... Please believe me..." Kageyama held me close.

I nodded, unable to speak, "I-I believe you..." I slumped down, hiding my face in Kageyama's shirt, dampening it with my tears.

"Thank you... Now get some rest, I can tell that you're tired." Kageyama kissed the top of my head and laid down with me on top of him. 

I nodded and closed me eyes, but the darkness wouldn't take me.

xXx

It's been hours since Kageyama feel asleep, yet I still can't. Sighing I got up and grabbed my razor and did the only thing that makes the voices settle down. Maybe then I can get some rest.

xXx

When I woke up there was no one next to me, no sound, just silence. Standing up I almost instantly fell, "Kageyama... Where are you?" My voice sounded weak...

Attempting to walk, I made my wary downstairs to find no one. Everyone was gone, they left me... They actually left me, "No, there must be a reason why, maybe they went to their jobs and classes. Y-yea that's it..."

'You idiot, they actually left you, they don't love you!' The voices were quick to yell at me.

I made my way to the sofa to wait. I don't know what I was waiting for, maybe for everyone to jump out and surprise me or maybe even for death to take me.

Sighing I rolled up my sleeves to add a few more cuts to find that from my wrist to my elbow it was covered in cuts, old and new. Rolling my sleeves down I then rolled up my shirt and cut on my already skinny waist, "I don't deserve to love anymore! No one loves me!" I kept added cuts, each one deeper then the last. And then I just stopped, I just stopped. My tears now coming quicker, "I j-just want to die...!"

Unable to do anything else, I just cried. I cried for my broken heart, my broken soul and my broken body. I cried until I could cry no more, even then my body shook with dry sobs.

xXx

After a few minutes of crying I curled up into a ball whimpering and holding my stomach. I was hungry and I knew I needed to eat. Yet I also knew that if I try to eat something I'll most likely throw it up. It's not worth it.

After a few pitiful whimpers I closed my eyes, hoping death will take me while I attempted to get some sleep.

xXx 

"Hinata! I'm back!" I heard Kageyama's voice echo throughout the house.

"Kageyama...?" I made an attempt to go greet him and that was proven to be difficult.

"Oh! You're awake, how are you feeling? I was going to wake you up this morning but you had a slight fever." Kageyama walked up to me and placed a cool hand against my forehead, "Hmm... It seems that your temperature has risen a little, come on, let me put you to bed." Kageyama grabbed my head and I nodded, my chest feeling heavy.

I just nodded and followed Kageyama.