The Girl Inside (Raura)

Chapter 18: Start Again

Ross' POV

Courtney jolts her sight from me to Laura, then Laura to me, and back and forth between us. Her nostrils are flared, the most blunt indication she's boiling rage inside.

"I was standing on the line between giving up and seeing how much more I could take, but it officially ends here. Emotionally, I'm done. Mentally, I'm drained. Spiritually, I'm gone." Courtney's formerly malleable fake smile is now dried plaster, but to her disadvantage it's cracking. "I'll get out of your lives and leave you alone. Go ahead; tell the media and paparazzi that I used you as a publicity stunt. I doubt anyone who recognizes me as your innocent girlfriend will be convinced by such a ludicrous and preposterous idea," Courtney's will to be triumphant in this situation is inescapable as the smug smile reestablishes her dominance.

"No. I'm not going to leak this to Hollywood." I reply sternly. Courtney's expression reflects confusion on my answer, but of course Laura knows exactly why I said that. "I'm going to tell the fans and the tabloids the truth, that we've broken up. I'll say the relationship wasn't working for either of us. However I'm not exposing your plans of how you gained exposure in the business through me. I'm not the type of person to purposely make another human suffer, in this instance by the case of hot gossip, for my own amusement. Instead I'm allowing you to start again and prove yourself to Hollywood. You'll get fame through dedicated effort if you strain yourself to do so. If you're willing to prove you'll put in all of your work ethic, you'll make it without me."

Courtney's left speechless with her lips pursed together in a flat line. She can't win this game anymore, but she's too dignified to admit it. The lack of sound in the room captivates us for a moment before Courtney swivels on her heel. Without the slightest movement of her mouth she's soon one small step out the door, but one monumental step out of our lives.

Laura's the first between us to get it through her head that Courtney has left forever. Tenaciously and adorkably Laura drags me by the hand to our couch. "Now what about that movie marathon you promised?"

Laura's POV

The way he graciously beams enthralls me. "With you? Why, I'd do anything."

Ross lifts himself up from the couch to slide Moulin Rouge into the DVD player. He doesn't even have to ask what I want to watch because he knows we both love the film so much. We're so close that we invented coordinated gestures a few years ago to some of the songs. Honestly when we're watching Moulin Rouge together, the fifteen year old teenagers in us come out and fall in love with the film all over again.

The opening scene begins to entertain my eyes and ears and Ross plops down next to me. I lean my head on his chest, "You know... we had our first kiss on this couch years ago." I can't tell by his expression whether Ross is straining himself to remember it or sweetly reminiscing. "Why did you do it? And why didn't we ever speak of it?"

Ross hesitates for a brief moment and again his exact emotions are illegible. "Do you really want to know?" he squeaks out.

"It's been bothering me since the day it happened," I reason.

With a heavy breath in and out, he replies. "At fifteen years old we were as close as two people could possibly be. I was and still am always so unbelievably elated and energized around you. Unconsciously at that age I developed feelings for you that I wasn't sure if I should've felt for my best friend," Ross hasn't moved his arm from around me even an inch. "After all we were hormone-crazed, acne stricken teenagers. On that day you learned of your parents' passing, you were so vulnerable and impaired. I used that to my advantage when I kissed you because I was almost positive your tearful state would prohibit you from shoving me away and glaring at me like I had lost my mind. I thought your emotions would make you too weak to physically reciprocate and instead you might've kissed back and discovered you had feelings for me, too."

My jaw hangs unhinged, "You're crazy."

"Only for you," he cheekily counters. "When we finally parted I could tell I appeared smug with my actions. You couldn't have noticed that too closely through your tears, so I thought I was safe from any questioning."

I tilt my head, with a frown beginning to form of the memory of my parents, and those same tears begin to wet my face. Ross instantaneously observes my motions and pulls me in tight so I can bury my nose deeper into the cotton-polyester medley of his shirt. "It was such a long time ago, but I made a promise to myself that day: no matter who I would be saying 'I do' to in the future, I would always remember every detail of that day from the time I carried you inside."

The passion in Ross' voice only picks up speed as he continues. I remain in his embrace, but stare up into his eyes to see a timid, unquestionably passionate gaze. "I remember I was always too afraid to ask you out after that. I was almost certain you had feelings for me as well, but every time I mustered up the courage to ask, there was an invisible rope snatching my voice and a seamstress sewing my lips closed."

A curious joy approaches my mouth to speak. "Then how are you the most confident guy I've ever met? You learned how to spin a basketball on your finger in one day and you walk out of dance auditions popping your collar like you own the place. I'm honestly surprised that with your musical talent, you can't play a trumpet through another trumpet."

"Thanks for the confidence boost," Ross graciously smirks. He then shuts his eyes in painful remembrance of Courtney's image.  "I was too susceptible to her trickery. It took me much too long to acknowledge that I shouldn't have trusted someone who never even asked how I was doing. I started dating Courtney because I was too cowardly to do something she succeeded in: she asked me out. As I elaborated previously, I couldn't ask you out even if I tried because I was too pessimistic. Every plausible wrongdoing attacked my mind whenever I had the tiniest slice of bravery around you. The thing is, Courtney made the first move. I honestly had no idea what to do at the time and sheepishly accepted. As her unknown maliciousness sustained I began to take note of her outer beauty. I fell in a bottomless pit of humanely sins because of her and they never stopped, but the worst part was that I thought I was in a sanctuary with Courtney. She was my first girlfriend, Laura. I don't know who to trust other than you now."

***

Happy (late) anniversary Boombox music video!

Remember that black and white photo Ross posted of him recording songs shirtless (like 3 days ago)?? Tbh now I'm actually so interested in knowing if he recorded A&A songs shirtless, especially the duets haha.

Vote/comment!

Steph (yesifeelgoodr5)