The Girl Inside (Raura)

Chapter 19: Giving Me Faith

Ross' POV

Laura's gaze freezes up at me, speechless. It's the mirror image of a young girl that's just seen the most heartbreaking end of a movie, and now trying to hold back tears. Laura's chest is slightly sunk into her body and her shoulders are pulled in. Her bright enthusiasm dissipates into concern and empathy. "You don't know who to trust?" Laura's voice struggles to squeak out her words. "What about your family? And your band? Music, art, your fans, your friends? Understand that you're surrounded by the ones that deeply care for you. Your thoughts are polluted with the horrific mindset of your recent past. History should be a lesson to you, so please don't let yourself get caught up in something that can't be changed."

Laura's POV

Ross turns to stare at the front door Courtney exited through not too long ago. From my location, I'm facing away from Ross and I can't see what facial expression he's wearing.

"I need your help," he turns to me, beginning slowly and ominously, so I pause the movie and face him. "I don't know how I can be your boyfriend anymore."

Immediately my head pounds, my stomach drops, my chest can't move, and the world is frozen. "What do you mean?"

"Courtney led our relationship; she commanded my every move and I didn't prevent it because I didn't know what was right or wrong. I was poisoned by her; Courtney destroyed my point of view on what a relationship should be. I'm sorry, but I don't know how to be your boyfriend, Laura."

My chest heaves to ease the tension. When I almost lose all hope of keeping my relationship with Ross that I had done so much for, a thought pops into my mind. "Ross... two months ago, when Courtney hadn't left for New York and I hadn't acted as if I was disgusted by your family's sloppiness, what would the two of us be doing?"

He runs the question throughout his mind, searching for an answer. "Most likely I would've been giving you a photography lesson because you'd been wanting me to teach you for so long."

I present Ross with an inexplicable, mischievous grin. "Let's do that now."

"Why now?"

"You'll see," I stretch my legs to stand up from the couch and nimbly dash for my room with Ross on my tail.

Inside I gather the Minolta XG-1 camera that Ross had gotten for one of my birthday presents. Regardless of my constant insisting that he wouldn't have to purchase something so expensive worth hundreds of dollars, Ross bought it for me because he knows me way too well to be convinced that I wouldn't want it.

"Take a look at some of the pictures I took when I was by myself last week," I sit next to Ross on my bed and hold the Minolta on the right side of me so Ross can see.

I click through the shots, each time providing for ample time to examine each one with precision. I'm so uncertain of what he thinks of them and abruptly insecurity begins to conquer me.

"Go back to that last one," Ross reaches for the button, but my fingers are already over it, so now his hands cover mine on the controls of the camera with a tingling sensation. Our right arms align, but his left arm is snaked around my shoulders to reach my left hand. I tilt my head up with a smile, but to my delight he's already staring at me in that same, lovestruck way. "I love this shot," he compliments, referring to the music store I had captured from my view in the coffee shop. "I don't think your others are shot this well, though. In these two," he switches to the following photos, "there isn't a respectable balance of the lighting. And in most of the others the composition is slightly off, but that's something you can easily adjust."

I hold my lips against each other in a flat line, contemplating what I should do with the constructive criticism. "C'mon, I'm going to bring you to the area where I took all these pictures so you can teach me how to improve my photography."