Rude - Grayson Dolan

36 - "I still love you"

Sorry it was a later update than planned, I was very nervous to post the last chapter but here you go (:

Dear Angela,

Since we have parted ways, I had found myself in numerous of bars on numerous nights. Now, you will be surprised there has not been numerous women. No. No women because they are not you. I have drowned my pain with alcohol. However, Ethan officially named me an alcoholic, a sad and lonely alcoholic. I denied. I despise being called an alcoholic because I am a well known and wealthy business man, but soon I could not deny it. I had tried to bury the memories of you with the alcohol that burned my throat.

Therefore, you may be happy - possibly not - that I found help. Christina found me an alcoholic centre in New York. At first I refused, not wanting to go to a shitty alcoholic centre filled with people who drank because they were poor and couldn't pay their monthly rent. I didn't want to mingle with people like that. But I soon became tired of hearing Christina and Ethan moaning about my wasteful body sleeping on their couch nightly so I decided to go. I also had booked out a holiday for work, little did they know I was spending my 'holiday' sleeping and drinking on my brothers couch.

I apologise for going off topic, as I was saying - I finally went and I realised how fucking selfish I have been all my life. I have been there for over 16 months now and I can proudly say I am now fully sober and back to my job.

I also made a friend at the centre named Archie. He looks a lot like Matt. At first I hated him for his features because I know Matt liked you, a lot. He was homeless and divorced. I thought he was going to beg me for money however he didn't. He only asked how I was.

I rarely was asked this question. I was usually asked if I had money, if I wanted to have sex, if  I could make the person famous. I wasn't used to being asked how I was. I was going to say I was ok, but we both knew that wasn't true. I was in an alcoholic centre for fucks sake of course I'm not ok I'm heartbroken, lonely and sitting by a poor homeless man. He's a nice man though, you would like him. I gave him a job, he's working in my office and living in a rented apartment near your block.

I am unsure if you still live in that little apartment of yours and if I am unnecessarily sending this to someone who has no fucking idea who I or you are. However, I needed you to know that you still consume my thoughts. It scares me how much you are on my mind, however it is a pleasure. It has been a pleasure to both be healed and fall in love with you at the same time.

When we first met, I was not myself. You would have liked me before Irene. He knew how to have a laugh, how to treat girls the right way, he was kind and caring. You met the bitter and heartless me, but despite my flaws - you loved me.

Now, since I have mentioned her name, I believe it is only fair if I tell you about her. I know this may change your look on me again for what seems like the millionth time. However, I know you have always been intrigued by Irene and I's history even though you lacked knowledge of it.

I met Irene at a bar whilst I was in university. It was a night out with the guys, their goal was to get me pissed off of my head because it was a week before I were to marry Scarlett. However, being the 'stubborn' and 'snobby' Dolan, I refused. Ethan agreed. Whilst he was with our friends getting pissed as fuck at the bar, I was captivated by a young girl who sat alone at a table for two. She was reading a book. I was never one to read - she read those romance shit that you like.

After finding the courage to talk to her for what felt like hours, I went over and told her that the book she held was a good book. When she looked up, I swear I stopped breathing. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had met. Her black hair was down, parted in the middle and she was wearing the ugly university sweater.