Rude - Grayson Dolan

05 - "stars"

Angela

The feeling in my stomach that I had once was felt has drastically returned. A heavy weight pushes down in my stomach causing me to struggle to sleep and I ended up sleeping for two hours.

My mind races, going over what had happened last night again and again. The way his hands felt against my body, the way he looked down at me and the way it felt to be near him. I had missed this feeling; heart racing, stomach swirling, mouth drying and palms dampening.

I send a quick text to Christina wishing that her and Ethan have a good time on their Honeymoon in Hawaii before setting my phone on the bedside table of the hotel which I had stayed in last night. Hotels in New York are expensive and the one that everyone had stayed in was booked up so I had to opt for one of the most posh and elegant ones in the city.

Before I had left London I had promised myself that I would not fall under his romantic charm. However I now know he has changed. Last night proved it to me. But, because I hadn't expected to the only outfit that I had packed was sweatpants and t shirts because I will leave tomorrow night.

Realising that I need to go out and search for an outfit for tonight, I slide on the black jeans that I had worn on the flight here and a plain white top. I don't bother putting on any makeup on before leaving the hotel and I call for the first cab I see.

Grayson

"Don't wear that mate." Archie comments as he takes a swig of his non-alcoholic beer, his hands rustling through my CDs and books that are piled on my desk. "No one would want to fuck you in that, it's bloody awful."

"It's a Gucci suit." I argue back, holding the edges of my blazer open to flaunt my priceless suit. "Besides, I look hot in everything." I laugh with a joke as I gently push Archie's shoulder before walking towards my closet.

"Sure." He scoffs before standing up to stand beside me, his glass still in his hands. "You don't want to look like your going to work or a strip club, even though I know that's where you want to be."

The first time I met Archie at the alcoholic support group he pissed me off. His constant sarcasm and jokes had me rolling my eyes non-stop. But now I find myself bent over laughing at the words that come out of his fucked up mouth.

"If you're going to give me advice on clothing style then you can shut the fuck up. I don't need that shit from a guy that dresses like a hobo." I say sarcastically as I rummage through the endless amount of shirts that cling from the hangers.

"Hey, I was homeless for one bloody month, barely even that." Archie nudges my shoulder before taking a plain white shirt off a hanger before forcing it into my chest. "Wear jeans - dress like you're going to a friends meal or something."

"I would wear a suit."

"Who the fuck wears a suit to their friends?!" He looks at me in disbelief as though I'm an alien which I laugh at. "No offence mate but I would go to yours in sweatpants that I haven't washed for two weeks and a food stained top not a suit. The fuck is wrong with rich people these days?"

"Get the fuck out so I can change." I give in, as I hold one of the black t shirts he had given to me and he grins before taking a swig of his drunk then leaving.

I had waited for tonight forever. I had imagined it. I had endlessly thought of it and I had dreamed about it.

This is the chance that I can prove I have changed, that I am no longer the man who hurt her once before. The thought of losing her again pains me and the thought of hurting her again kills me.

-

New music fills my speakers as I drive my car to Angela's hotel. I had to buy new music, my ears were sick of hearing the same depressing songs as I sobbed, thinking about the person who I love and care for, the person who was 12 hours away from me, the person who I had hurt and regretted doing so.