Lost

Chapter 16: So Far Gone

Everything falls down eventually. No matter how high you build up your walls they fall down. No matter how many times you rebuild they fall down. It doesn't matter how hard you try there is always someone there to break down your walls. 

God, I wish I could get him out of my head. I spent years pushing people away, years isolated, not telling anyone everything. I had secrets, secrets I didn't even tell Ally. Secrets I kept locked away in my heart, behind the walls that nobody bothered to break down and now everything is out there. I told Harry something only Ally knew. I told Harry everything, even more than I told Ally. In a matter of a few months Harry managed to worm his way into my heart. 

And now I realized why I had built up those walls. As I sit here I realize that getting hurt is worse than being lonely because when you give someone your heart you are bound to get hurt. 

As I watch him smile at her, her hand in his arm, white teeth shining between red lipstick, the same red lipstick spotted over his neck, as I sit here, wishing it was me I realized that the second you let someone into your heart you spiral. I may have been sad before but let me tell you, I have spiraled, spiraled hard and there is no way to stop it. 

6 hours earlier

"Come on Em please!" Harry begged. 

I rolled my eyes, "Harry I'm really not a partier!" 

"Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaa!" he whined, "It will be really fun! You can get really drunk!" 

"Harry I have been drunk before." I sighed.

"You have!?" 

"I'm not some loser who hasn't even had a drink before!" I laughed. 

"Come on! Everyone else is going! Even Louis' girlfriend is coming!" 

"Lou has a girlfriend?" Damn, I am really out of the loop!

"Yeah, they have kept it a secret till now, the interview we did a few days ago airs tonight and Lou spilled the beans." Harry smiled. 

"Oh. Well that is exciting!" 

"SO YOU HAVE TO GO!" he said, jumping on the bed beside me. 

"I swear to god Harry Styles one minute you are a pop star the next you are a five year old boy!"

"PPLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSEEEE!!!!?????" 

"Fine. But I'm not drinking." 

"Oh why not!? That takes all the fun out of it!" 

"Because I am nuts when I'm drunk!" 

"I'll protect you!" Harry smirked. 

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Styles. Now leave so I can get ready!" 

"No first you have to come say hi!" 

Harry bounded out of the room and I followed down the hall to Louis' hotel room. I opened the door to see a tall girl with flaming red hair and bright green eyes smiling at me. "Emma, it's nice to see you!" 

"Lindsey!?" I smiled. 

"Emma it's been forever!"

Lindsey is Harry's cousin who I briefly met in a bakery in London. "Wait, are you two dating?" 

Louis smiled and nodded. "Almost seven months." 

I immediately marched over to Louis who was smiling until he saw the look in my eyes. "Emma-" 

"LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME!" 

Louis laughed but stopped when he realized I was actually angry. "I'm sorry Emma!"