Lost

Chapter 19: The Truth

"Who is Kara?" 

"My ex." 

"More." 

"Emma-" 

"Harry you are the first person I have trusted in a long time, the least you could do is trust me too." 

Harry sighed, "Ok, it's a bit of a long story." 

"I like long stories." 

"Ok, well it started in 2006 in Holmes Chapel. I met Kara in school, we were only twelve. I met her at our family BBQ. She was Lindsey's best friend. She was great. Funny, kind, caring, smart. We became kind of like the three musketeers at school. You never saw one of us without one of the others. When I turned sixteen I auditioned for XFactor. Kara and Lindsey were worried I would forget about them so I made sure to prove them wrong. I called them every other day, took every chance I had to go back home to see them. When I was seventeen Kara and I started dating. I thought I loved her. We were perfect, hardly fighting, I smiled whenever I saw her. We managed to keep it under wraps. She would sneak into my house when we met up, she moved into the same  building with Lindsey. I would make it look like I was hooking up with random girls to keep the paps off our ass. Everything was perfect. But Kara changed. She wanted the fame, she tried to convince me to make us public, I could see her changing, she stopped staying in to watch movies and started going to clubs, she stopped eating brownies and started dieting, she stopped walking around in sweats and started to get her hair done every few weeks. And I could tell she stopped loving me and started loving the idea of fame. I tried to convince her to stop. I tried, I really did. I didn't want her in the spot light, I knew what it was like. But she didn't listen. One day she booked and interview with some TV host and spilled all the beans. She had pictures of us kissing, texts I had sent her. Everything. I wish I didn't and I feel like shit for doing it but the very next day I told everyone she was lying. Said the texts weren't real, it was all photo shopped, I said that she was just some crazed fan I met for five minutes in an airport. I denied our love and that broke her.  She told Lindsey that she was heartbroken, that I broke her heart but I could see through it. If she couldn't get the fame from the world she would get back at me by turning my own cousin against me. And she believed her. Lindsey hated me for years, I only really got to get closer with her again a few months ago when Kara moved to Scotland and stopped feeding her mind poison. Lindsey still hates me for what I did to her best friend. The only reason she really forgave me was because I introduced her to Louis. Emma, please listen to me when I say what happened between Kara and I isn't going to happen again. I promise." 

When he was done his story tears were running down him face and I took his hand in mine. "Harry, it wasn't your fault she changed." 

"She was my first love and she treated me like shit." 

"I know, but you have moved on, you deserve more than some fame seeking whore." 

Harry laughed, "You really do have a trucker mouth." 

"I like your laugh." I said, smiling at him. 

Harry blushed. "Thanks." 

"Did I just make THE Harry Styles blush?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"No." 

"I think I did." 

Harry rolled his eyes, the happy glint back. "You know you are perfect." 

"I am?" 

"Of course. You know I like seeing you smile. I know that a part of you knows it isn't real, and I know a part of me knows that too, but to think that maybe, just maybe you could smile again makes me smile." 

"Harry, I don't know if I ever will. Hell, last night I tried to kill myself." 

"Emma-" 

"You can't just pretend like it didn't happen." 

"I know." he whispered. 

"Are you sure you want to deal with this? All of this? Knowing I'm not in love like you are? Knowing that there is a chance that I won't get better?" 

"It's worth it. Emma you will always be worth the journey."

"There are a lot of people who would disagree." 

"Em, you alienate yourself from the people you love. When was the last time you talked to Ally? Or Ellie?" 

"A few weeks." 

"Emma, I won't let you go, I will hold on until I die, I'm not letting you go. I will never let you go. No matter what." 

"Harry, what happened with Kara, why didn't you tell Lindsey?" 

"She won't believe me, besides, I'm just beginning to fix things with her." 

I nodded, "And you know I don't want anyone to know right? I mean the boys and our families but no one else." 

"I know." 

"Maybe one day, but right now the last thing I need is paps following me more than they do now. I deleted my Twitter a few months ago."

"Why?" 

"I didn't want to see it." 

"Emma, you know I love you, and I know you don't want that and I will keep it a secret for you, I learned from Kara what forcing a person can do so as soon as you want to tell people you let me know ok?" 

"Ok. But you have to tell me if I change, for the worse."

"Deal." he smiled, standing up to get ready for an interview.

"And Harry?" 

"Yes?" 

"I really like you."

Harry smiled. He knows I can't love, not yet, I'm still to broken, I still don't trust and there is still no way in hell I can tell anyone I love them right now. And that is what is great about Harry, he knows. Everything. 

He knows not to push me or rush me. He will wait and that is the most I can ask for. 

"I really like you too Em, I'll see you after the interview." 

"I'll be watching." 

"I wouldn't have it any other way." he smiled before shutting the door. 

I sighed, falling back onto the bed. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I'm going to get better. For Harry. 

A/N: 

Hey, sorry its late and so short, its been a long week. 

Thanks.

-E