Lost

Chapter 4: car rides

304. That's how many bricks are on Mrs. MacDonald's driveway. My mother loves that driveway. My father thinks it's a waste of money.

"Why would someone spend so much money on a brick driveway they park their car on!?"

I rolled my eyes, checking my phone. Harry said he would pick me up at 9:00, it is 9:26.

Maybe this is all a joke? Something he and the boys are laughing about at their hotel.

I sighed, opening the kindle app on my phone and started reading. I got about 3 pages in when a car pulled up in front of my house.

It's a nice car, jet black with blacked out windows. It kind of reminds me of Men in Black.

The door opened and three people got out.

My heart pounded in my chest as Harry, Liam and Zayn walked over to me.

"Hey Em!" Harry smiled brightly.

"Hi." I said shyly.

"Well are you ready?" Liam asked. "Louis and Niall are meeting us there."

I nodded and followed them to the car where Liam and Zayn got into the back seat and I blushed as Zayn held the passenger seat door open for me, mumbling a quiet "Thanks."

We were quiet for about 10 minutes before Harry turned on the radio. I smiled as I hummed along to Passenger.

"You only need the light when it's burning low, only hate the road when you're missing home, only know you love her when you let her go." Harry smiled as he softly sang.

"You know this song?" I asked.

Harry nodded, "I love it."

We fell into silence once more, taking in the beauty of the song. It is almost like Liam and Zayn aren't there, it's just me and Harry, humming along, small smiles playing on our lips.

When the music finally stopped I unrolled my window, looking out on street just off the highway.

"I like it here." Harry smiled.

"Why is that?" I asked, turning to him. Liam and Zayn are both asleep in the back seat.

"It's peaceful."

"Trust me, it's anything but." I sighed, thinking about back at home.

"How?"

I stay quiet for a bit. "I can't tell you."

To my surprise Harry smiled, "Maybe one day you can?"

I shrugged, not wanting to say to much.

"You are quiet."

"Not really." I replied.

"Em?"

"Why do you call me that?" I asked, looking at him, his eyes locked on the road.

"Do you not like it?"

"No, I like it."

He smiled, "Good."

I looked out the now closed window at the passing scenery. The scenery I have seem a million times before.

"What's it like? The world."

"Massive. So full of life and diversity. I love it. Why do you ask?"

"I want to see it."

Harry has a smile I can't quite explain. It is full, reaching his eyes as they light up with happiness, his dimples pop out making him look adorable.

I wish I could smile like that, with happiness and love of life.

We were quiet again as music played softly in the background.

"Have you always wanted to do music?"

Harry nodded, "my first love is music."

"Have you ever loved anyone?"

"My family. But romantically? Yes."

"What's it like?"

"I don't know how to explain it. You would do anything for them, they are what makes you truly smile."

"Was it love at first sight?"

"Yes."

"Does she love you back?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out." he smiled.

Of course he is in love with someone, why would anyone love me? I'm a friend. Nothing more.

That's all I will ever be. A friend. No one wants to date the weird girl. The girl who is broken beyond repair.

I will probably never be whole again, because I don't let people in. I need someone to fight for me. But I'm not worth fighting for.

She is beautiful. Her hair, falling down around her face, is a beautiful shade of brown. She frowns as she reads her book. She looks so focused, I have never seen someone read with so much intensity.

"Hey, keep your eyes off the pretty girl and on the road!" Liam smirked from the back seat.

Emma looked out the window, searching for something.

"What are you looking for love?"

"There is no one around."

"Your point?" I asked, a little confused.

"You were distracted by a pretty girl on the street, I don't see anyone." she said with the straightest face.

"Love he was talking about you." Zayn called. Emma blushed and continued reading.

I glared at the two of them as they snickered in the back seat.

"We are here." I said, pulling into the parking lot.

Emma say up, putting her book away and unbuckling her seat belt before getting out of the car.

Liam and Zayn walked ahead of us as I continued to stare at Emma. Her shoulders were moving up and down faster than normal and her fists were clenched.

"Em?"

She turned around and looked at me, her breathing stopping completely.

"Em? Are you ok?"

She stared at me, as she slowly started to breath again, her hands relaxed and she nodded, not saying a word as she walked to the studio.

"Emma!" I yelled, grabbing her hand.

She quickly let go, holding her hands behind her back. "Yes?"

"You can't walk away like that didn't just happen!"

"I'm fine."

"That's what people who aren't fine say."

"So what do people who are fine say?"

"People who are fine don't have panic attacks!"

She gasped. "How do you-?"

"It's pretty easy to tell!"

"Not even my parents have figured it out." she whispers.

"You don't have to hide from me." I said gently, brushing the hair out of her eyes.

"I, um, have to, um, go to the washroom." she stammered quickly, walking away fast.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Damn what has this girl done to me? I have known her less than 24 hours and all I want to do is hold her and tell her everything will be ok.

But I can't, she is too broken for that right now. I don't just want to fix her. I want her to be happy again, I want her to be happy with me.